I was contacted by a strange a day ago tellin me they liked the conversation I had with someone named EvilCow. Having no clue what they were talking about they directed me to this website which has a IM conversation between this EvilCow person and a person named Cheese God. I do not recall however this conversation or ever talking to anyone named EvilCow. Upon reading this IM conversation it does seem bad enough that it may in fact be something I might have done. For your enjoyment, here it is in full:
EvilCow4ever: Angel has a few questions for you
Cheese God: ok, shoot
EvilCow4ever: question 1: Did cheese make you their god?
EvilCow4ever: question 2: Of what kind of cheese are you the god?
Cheese God: i am a master of cheese. my mastery of cheese won the favor of the cheese population, thus giving me godhood
EvilCow4ever: question 4: Of what type of big cheese are you claiming to be the god? She said question 3 didn’t matter.
Cheese God: #2…i am god of all that is cheese
EvilCow4ever: question 5: does that make all the other, less-favored cheeses jealous?
Cheese God: #4…even the little cheese see me as a god. i am big
Cheese God: #5…i treat all cheese well, for they are all tasty and have much to offer. some cheese has higher positions in society, but thats government
EvilCow4ever: question 6: why do bad things happen to good cheese?
Cheese God: #6 every cheese has a lifespan. as they get old, they get ill(mold). its the way of life. everything must die
Cheese God: only the good cheese die young
Cheese God: cept cheddar…it has a long lifespan for some reason
EvilCow4ever: question 7: Since you are Cheese God, is there something you can do about the smell of Limburger?
EvilCow4ever: question 8: Why do some cheeses get to live longer than others? isn’t that favoritism?
Cheese God: #7 i prefer to not deal with the smell
EvilCow4ever: question 9, in reference to question 7: if you prefer not to deal with the smell, wouldn’t it be easier to get rid of the smell?
Cheese God: #8 different cheeses are like different species. all live different spans
EvilCow4ever: question 10: Is there a cheese heaven?
Cheese God: #9…as a god, its not really my place to directly intervene
EvilCow4ever: and if so what is cheese hell like?
Cheese God: having mold that will never eat away at you…you are forever stuck outside the fridge with mold
Cheese God: makes a bad smell and no one wants to eat you
EvilCow4ever: Damn you are cruel……
EvilCow4ever: so what is cheese heaven like?
EvilCow4ever: question some-random-number: Do you love all cheeses equally, or do you favor one over most, like Israelites?
Cheese God: paradise…a cool enviroment where these is no mold and all the people love you
EvilCow4ever: question whosit: was there an application or screening process to this god-position, or did the cheese just one day proclaim you as their god?
Cheese God: my love for the cheese made them see me as beyond any mere human
EvilCow4ever: ahh. So it was an adoration-type thing.
Cheese God: yup
EvilCow4ever: So has one cheese found favor with you more than others?
Cheese God: some cheese always have higher opinions, but i love all cheese
EvilCow4ever: ooh. so you’re an equal-opportunity god.
EvilCow4ever: Okay. I think that is all the questions we have for you today.
Cheese God: didnt think id answer it all did you
Cheese God: some cheese try to cross me out of rebellion
EvilCow4ever: I’m happy you took time out of your busy, divine schedule to answer all our questions.