ELECTION NIGHT 2012


303

WINNER!

 

 

 

206

LOSER!

Obama

03 DC
03 Vermont
29 New York
04 Hawaii
03 Delaware
11 Mass.
04 Rhode Isl.
10 Maryland
20 Illinois
55 California
07 Connecticut
14 New Jersey
12 Washington
04 Maine
05 New Mexico
10 Minnesota
07 Oregon
16 Michigan
20 Penns.
04 New Hamp.
10 Wisconsin
06 Iowa
18 Ohio
06 Nevada
09 Colorado
13 Virginia

Romney

06 Utah
04 Idaho
03 Wyoming
06 Arkansas
07 Oklahoma
11 Tennessee
03 Alaska
09 Alabama
05 Nebraska
03 North Dakota
38 Texas
06 Kansas
08 Kentucky
05 West Virginia
08 Louisiana
06 Mississippi
11 Indiana
10 Missouri
11 Arizona
16 Georgia
03 South Dakota
03 Montana
09 South Carolina
15 N. Carolina

 Undecided

20 Penns.
13 Virginia
29 Florida
09 Colorado
15 N. Carolina
10 Wisconsin
06 Iowa
18 Ohio
06 Nevada
04 New Hamp.

11:20

With Ohio officially going to Obama, he can claim victory. There are still four states up for grabs, but the only question now is by how much Obama will win. No doubt it will not be as much as before, but a win is a win is a win.

It’s been fun, we must do this again in four years for Hillary Clinton vs Kris Kristie. And don’t forget to check cheesegod.com daily for more stupid fun. Good night folks!

11:18

PRESIDENT OBAMA IS REELECTED!

11:15

“Too close to call” is what the doctor said when they were trying to figure out my gender after I was born.

11:12

Obama has just took Iowa! Now Romney has to win all remaining states to win! Obama any two!

Obama 257, Romney 206

11:09

At this point we have six states left. Romney has to win five of them to win. Obama only 2.

I had heard Romney was already strapping his dog to the roof of his car, in anticipation of going to the White House. Obama has heard this, and is excited that he is getting the take-in delivery.

11:03

Major update:

Wisconsin to Obama.

North Carolina to Romney (the first undecided that Romney has won).

Obama 251. Romney 206

10:59

CNN is teasing, saying that the 88 electoral votes for the polls closing at 11pm are often enough to declare a winner. They currently have Romney at 169, and Obama at 157. If you can do math you know there is no winner being claimed. Not sure what CNN’s target audience is here.

Unless they’re planning on calling Florida for him… that may be what they’re planning.

10:55

At 10pm polls will close for California, Hawaii, Idaho, Oregon and Washington. All but Idaho will be called for Obama giving Obama a huge lead in the electoral vote count on the major networks. These four states are worth 78 votes, this will make their tallies start to resemble ours more.

After 11pm the only polls left open (besides the ones in Florida and Virginia because of the long lines) will be in Alaska, which will obviously be Romney. At this point we are just waiting for the votes to be counted in the 8 remaining undecided states.

Florida is looking more and more Obama friendly, although it’s far from certain. As I said, Florida goes blue and the election is over and Obama gets four more years.

10:50

How hasn’t Apple sued CNN yet, claiming their magic screen is just a giant iPad?

10:45

“And Vermont’s highly coveted 3 electoral votes goes to…” said nobody ever.

10:40

By Michigan giving it’s entire “glove” to Obama, it has successfully given the finger to Romney.

10:35

 The McDonald’s in Orlando sells Pizza. Proof that Florida is pure nuts.

10:33

Romney would have to win at least 5 of the 8 remaining undecided states to win that. If Obama wins any 4 he wins. But Obama could just win Florida and win and a bunch of other combos.

Not looking too good for Romney now, but he’s not out yet.

10:25

Both parties are depending on the new zombie vote in Florida. IE the brain dead.

10:20

Obama is currently just 29 votes away from victory. The same amount that Florida happens to have. In other words, if Florida goes for Obama the rest of the states can go home. They are unneeded. Of course, it’s Florida, we still don’t know who won that state 12 years ago.

Obama is currently ahead by about 50,000 votes out of about 7.5 million.

10:15

Yeah, Romney won Utah. But only because all his secret wives voted for him.

10:10

New York, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico… Why does Obama get the new states while Romney gets the old stinky ones?

10:05

Another important update. Obama gets New Hampshire! Yeah, 4 whole votes. Yep.

Obama 241; Romney 191

10PM

Every news station has just broke in with the “Breaking News” that Indiana and Nevada were to close to call.

Big News! We know nothing!

9:55

The polls will close in 5 minutes for Indiana,  Montana,  Nevada and  Utah.

The networks will call Montana and Utah for Romney and declare the other two “too close to call”

True Fact: There was a town in Montana that once renamed itself Joe in hopes Joe Montana would visit them. He didn’t.

9:50

If I sleep with Wolf Blitzer would that be bestiality?

9:44

First major update!

Pennsylvania goes to Obama.

Current tally: Obama 237, Romney 191!

9:40

Speaking of Texas, do you remember that guy George W. Bush? Man, he was a hoot!

And always remember the Alamo… and where you put your car keys.

9:33

Romney has won Texas ultimately putting him “in the lead” according to the news networks. Of course, that’s not true. We always knew Romney was going to win Texas, just like we know Obama is going to win California and that the last episode of Breaking Bad will disappoint us no matter how great is.

So far Pennsylvania is looking very likely it will ultimately go for Obama, which will add 20 to his total.

Florida is a dead tie, with only about 650 votes between the two out of almost 7 million votes so far. Could this be 2000 all over again? Lets hope enough other states are decisive enough that we don’t have to worry about it.

Obama has an okay lead in Ohio and Colorado so far. These two states plus Pennsylvania would get Obama to with 3 votes. But can he sustain it? How will we have to stay up to find out? Can I think of a third question to put here?

9:25

“Too close to call” is what I tell the guy in the next cubicle when he calls me on my phone rather than just sticking his head over the wall.

9:20

Soccer moms everywhere are reminiscent about the days people cared about them.

9:15

Georgia went red. You can’t really be shocked that the place John Rocker called home didn’t vote for the black guy.

9:10

Obama won DC. Big deal. DC isn’t a state. Stop pretending, you’ll never as be as cool as the rest of us. Sure, you got your free museums and statue of Lincoln. But know what we got? Representation! Ha!

9:05PM

The polls have just closed in New Jersey. As expected the state has gone blue (you’d be blue too if Snooki was associated with you). So far Obama has won 100% of states named after a T-Shirt

9PM
If you were to watch CNN right now they have Romney ahead of Obama 82 to 64 in the electoral race. Don’t be fooled. The numbers on the top are correct. The only states that matter are the 10 listed as undecided above.

So far in the early results it looks like Romney has the advantage in South Carolina and Virginia and Obama has the advantage in Ohio and Florida. The difference here is that if Obama holds onto both Florida and Ohio it is pretty much over. He would need only one other state, any state, from the undecided list to win.

The tension is playing so much havoc you can see Anderson Cooper’s hair turn black.

5:35PM
It’s just under 90 minutes until the first polls start closing. Wolf Blitzer is wetting his beard with excitement.

The first state with polls closing that matters is Virginia. This state is something of a must win for Romney. If he doesn’t win that it’ll be hard to imagine him winning this election, and I have a pretty good imagination.

The rest of the poll closings go as follows (all times EST):
7pm – Virginia
730 – North Carolina & Ohio
8pm – Florida & New Hampshire
9pm – Colorado
10pm – Iowa & Nevada

I guess we’re somewhat lucky that Ohio ends at 7:30pm, beacuse it’ll likely be a while after the polls there close that we’ll know who the winner is. Hopefully we won’t have to miss 1am rerun of Mr. Belevadere on channell 63 because we’re still watching CNN’s magic holographic graphs.

Remember folks, our live blogging will really get underway around 8:30pm. Don’t miss it, or you might die.*

*Please note, reading cheesegod’s live blogging does guarantee immortality. You might die anyway. But if you are home reading our live blog on your computer it will greatly decrease the chance of you getting into a car accident. Of course if you are reading our live blog on your iPad while driving that’s another story. Please pull over and then read.

6AM
This it folks. On the left we have each candidate and how many electoral votes they are expected to definitely win. As you know, the candidate that gets 270 or more will be our president for the next four years. On the right we have each state along with how many electoral votes they are worth under the candidate they are going for.

Then there are the undecideds. Who these states go for will determine everything.

While Obama appears to have the early lead, it could still go either way. Obama has trailed in many polls in recent weeks in Florida, which without doubt is the biggest prize to get from the undecided states with it’s 29 electoral votes. Pennsylvania, the undecided state with the second highest electoral count, had looked liked it was all but certain to vote for Obama up until the last week or so, when polls began showing Romney within striking distance. Ohio, with 18, has been in almost a virtual tie. If Romney wins just just two of those states plus North Carolina and Virginia (and I would bet on him winning the latter two) Obama would have to win every single other undecided state to maintain the presidency, otherwise we’ll be calling Romney our president until 2016 when Hillary Clinton wins.

It’s could be a very exciting night, join us back at about 8:30 tonight as we begin live blogging the results as they come in. Who knows, maybe it’s finally Ralph Nader’s year.

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