President Obama was seen shopping at a book store for Christmas presents. Among what he picked up was “The Art of Speaking” for Joe Biden.
CNN confirms that Bin Laden’s funeral at sea was handled as per Islamic tradition. So all two people worried that it wasn’t ought to be happy.
Black Friday saw a record number of shoppers go to stores, but overall spending may have been down. So how can sales be down but the number of shoppers be up? Easy. None of the shoppers were able to find any Twinkees to buy this year.
15 Years ago:
We are on our last week of the month long celebration of the 15 year anniversary of cheesegod. This post is from September 26, 2006. That’s about five years before Bin Laden was killed personally by Obama. This story actually received a bunch of more hits after Bin Laden’s death when people actually searched for “Zombie Bin Laden”.
ZOMBIE BIN LADEN ATTACKS US TROOPS
“It was crazy,” said Prvt. Joe Orsulak, “We were just minding our own business, taking a stroll down the streets of Baghdad, when all the sudden he jumped out from inside a sand dune. He started scratching at us and telling us about how he wanted our imperialist brains. He took a bite right out of Craig’s head.”
The surprised troops shot at the Zombie Bin Laden, but didn’t get far. The bullets traveled right through Osama as he continued his attack. It wasn’t until one brave soldier took out the Haliburton brand Zombie Head Remover that the deceased Bin Laden got scared and retreated.
“Democrats questioned the 2.1 billion dollar acquisition of the Zombie Head Removers for our US Troops last year,” Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld roared at the White House press core, “I think we all have to ask ourselves. Do the Democrats love America, or do they love zombie terrorists?”
Troops are currently investigating the attack to see if this was an isolated incident.
“We think it may have happened before,” Sgt. Jeff McKnight told us, “We’re always finding troops missing their brains. We had previously thought the Iraqi insurgents had found a way to shrink down themselves, fly tiny planes into our ears, and then suicide bomb our brains.”
US Troops in Iraq had been wearing Haliburton brand Ear Muffs to protect themselves against such an attack.
And now a collection of goats being weird: