Dear MySpace,

It seemed like just a few weeks ago that I joined up with you. I knew about you for sometime, but we just never seemed that compatible. You with your reputation of being associated with crappy bands, pathetic teenagers, child predators, and social retards. And me with my desire to not be associated with crappy bands, pathetic teenagers, child predators, and social retards. We just seemed like total opposites . I just couldn’t see the thrill in showing off to complete strangers my personal photos, likes in bad music, or how many “friends” I have (most of which or also complete strangers).

But I relented. It seemed that if so many people wanted to join up with you, well, their must be something about you. And even though my desire to never do anything that’s popular and guarantee to never be popular myself… or even that well liked, I gave up and joined with you.

Let’s face it. We just were not made for each other. Considering I don’t even care much about my own interests, it’s kind of hard for me to get excited about displaying them for the world to see. And as little as I care about my own interests, I care about even less about everyone else’s. Plus I told you I don’t like spam, so why do you insist on serving it up to me everyday. And, I’d like to say looks do not matter, but everything about you is ugly. Your interface, your member’s profile pages, your members… Speaking of which, please tell your ho-bots to stop bothering me, I do not want to be their friends. I’m afraid I might catch the clap by just looking at their profile photos.

So I hear January 30th is International Delete Your MySpace Account Day. That seems like as a good as reason as any to end our relationship, although the fact you totally suck are most horrible are probably better reasons.

-With Love and Devotion,
cheesegod