Artist depiction of the vomiter.
Artist depiction of the vomiter.

There is many evil doers. But Lex Luther and the Joker have nothing on the real life super villain: The Vomiter, instilling fear into the residents of Patchogue, NY.

Striking in the middle of the night, the vomiter leaves his oral discharge on the front doors of local stores owned by innocent business owners.

The vomiter, who’s secret identity is unknown, has already struck one local business three times. Poor Lori Bellmont, owner of The Colony Shop, has turned to the village board for help in cleaning it up.

But the village board are too afraid to do anything. “The cleanliness of the sidewalk is the responsibility of landowner,” Dep. Mayor Jack Krieger said.

What can be done to stop the evil vomiter? Who will clean Mrs. Bellmont’s sidewalk? Who will pronounce “Patchogue” correctly? The world needs a hero or a janitor. Or how about Hammer, who is conviently both?


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