The Jokes:

Comcast is planning on buying the reaming 49% of NBC they don’t already own. I hope after Do No Harm and 1600 Penn they aren’t paying more than a buck fifty two.

North Korea has tested a third nuclear weapon. Anyone else think Kim Jong Un is just hoping the radiation make him grow like Godzilla so he’s no longer a midget?

Shark attacks in America have reached a five year high. Hey, look how fat and juicy we’re getting! Can you blame sharks for wanting to eat us?

Heavy Manhattan:

"I think I'm gonna need a bigger saw"
“I think I’m gonna need a bigger saw”

If you’ve been to Manhattan lately, or watched Law and Order: SUV, you’ve probably noticed all the big buildings there. Of course, there has been big buildings in Manhattan for a while now. The Empire State building, the largest building in New York up until recently, was built in 1929.

But even in 1824 people were noticing the growth of buildings. Some began to wonder if too many structures were being built, especially downtown. People were worried that the island would tip over from all the weight.

Luckily one man named Lozier had a plan how to fix it. They could simply saw the island in half, tow the  lower half into the ocean, turn it around, and then reattach it. This would redistribute the weight and make the island of Manhattan safe again.

Lozier went as far as to hire workers to complete the task. Workers were told to practice holding there breath because about half of them would have to be under the island to operate the saw on that half.

When it was time to do the job, a number of workers showed up, but Lozier did not. It was all a hoax.

Unfortunately, it’s not known if any of this really happened. The only documentation of it is from 40 years later. Perhaps the real hoax was that there was a hoax.

 

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