The Jokes:
Sony has announced they just stopped making new Playstation 2s. As long as Nintendo keeps making the Virtual Boy I am okay.
Space may increase Alzheimer in Astronauts. Explains why we haven’t been to the moon, no one can remember how to get back there. Plus I hear Buzz lost the keys to the shuttle.
Zynga has closed 11 of their games. Immediately my timeline lost 60% of it’s content.
5 Cable Stations That Have Lost Their Way:
MTV – Lets just get this one out of the way. I this generation of 20 somethings complaining about how MTV no longer shows music. But I remember complaining about the same thing 20 years ago. It seems boggling that somehow a station named Music Television has somehow figured out how to play less music than ever. Twenty years ago MTV was playing stuff like Real World, Beavis & Butt-head and Liquid Television. Now MTV has gone full reality TV with trash like 16 and pregnant and The Jersey Shore. But guess what? MTV’s ratings has gone up over the last few years. The public doesn’t want music, they want crap.
It’s sad that when Beavis and Butt-head came back on the air in 2012, the one music video that was shown during that episode was more music than would typically be played an entire day on MTV.
When I look a what has happened to M2 is when I tear up little. 15 years ago M2 was the greatest station ever. A wide variety of music and no commercials. But then they renamed themselves MTV2 and along came the crap.
AMC – Nowadays when you think of AMC you think of great programs like The Walking Dead, Mad Men and Breaking Bad. And for those few hours those programs air, AMC is the greatest station in the world. The problem is the other 165 hour each week.
Everyday AMC plays horrible over recycled movies from the 80s and 90s that you could find in the $2 DVD discount bin at Walmart. Did you know AMC stands for American Movie Classics? If you turned on AMC in the 90s it would have looked a lot like what we know as Turner Classic Movies today. In fact Turner Classic Movies 100% stole AMC’s formular: Classic black & white presented ad free introduced by a grey haired movie expert.
It’s hard to miss AMC too much, since Turner does such a good job at being AMC of yesteryear. Plus Breaking Bad is pretty kick ass.
History Channel: It was joked in the 90s that the History Channel should be known has the Hitler Chanel because of the large amount of WWII programming they aired. But now we would wish for that instead of the steaming pile of reality television the station has become. Shows about people driving on Ice, cutting down trees, restoring coke machines? What? And of course there’s Pawn Stars and American Pickers. Hours of people getting ripped off selling their priceless heirlooms. Or pretending to get ripped off, since these shows are all prescripted lies anyway.
The worse is the UFO and monster show presented as fact. The History Channel should be ashamed to still call themselves such while presenting this garbage to idiots who think (did I say think, there is no thinking involved that because it’s on station called History is must be true. But still it could be worse…
TLC – The L in TLC stands for Learning. Learning! On a station that carries Honey Boo-boo. No… No way. TLC is by far the worse offender on this list.
Bravo – Bravo launched as “the first television service dedicated to film and the performing arts”. It used to be the place to watch Operas and Indie Films. Now they play the Real Housewives of some stupid place I don’t care about.
FOX news complains about a war on Christmas. Last I checked there’s about 8 different religious stations on my cable box, while the number with real educational programming has gone down to about 3 or 4. The real war is on smart people. The TV networks all try to rot our brains with horrible reality programming and talking head pundits. Thank god books still exist… for now.
