10/23/12 – Flaming Hot Dookie

The Jokes:

President Obama has coined the term “Romnesia”. Mitt Romney responded that Obama was clever, but not Barack-et Scientist.

Scientists are predicting another warmer than normal winter for much of the country. They are also predicting Republicans to continue to live in denial of global warming, using the excuse: “It’s just hell heating up extra hot to get ready for all those Obama voters.”

I plan on voting from Green party canidate Jill Stein. That way when Hillary Clinton gets elected in 2016, I can tell people I was voting for woman to be president before it was cool.

Flaming Hot Cheetos causes orange waste:

Discolored turds or not, they are delicious.

Parents are up in arms again. But this time it’s not because of South Park poisoning their children’s TV experience, or Eminem ruining music, Lance Armstrong’s doping  demonstrating poor work ethic or even a gay telitubbie.

Nope, now it’s Flaming Hot Cheetos. Not since the ol’ razor in the apple routine has our children’s safety been so threatened by a snack item. Only this time it doesn’t just simply cut the insides of your mouth and throat up, no it’s far worse. It’ll turn your stool red.

Parents all over the country have running to the hospital after finding their kids’ poop had turned red. Of course “running” is probably a poor choice of words. Let’s face it, if your kid eats enough Flaming Hot Cheetos to turn your fecal colors, the last time running was involved was the last time the Good Humor man rode by.

Doctors are furious at the snack, since discolored stool is most likely not covered by most health insurances. Parents are wasting doctor’s times much like how they waste our time by leaving us in waiting rooms with 8 year old issues of Horse Illustrated. Doctors are afraid if patients start thinking they can waste their time like they waste ours we might start thinking we equal to them in the occupation caste system.

Schools have joined the fracas, many banning the powdery delicacy.  I’m not sure why. Is the school looking our children’s crap? Or is worse than I originally feared? When I was a kid we’d eat different colored lollipops than show each other are newly colored tongues. Are children these days eating weird foods and then showing their orange colored turds to each other?

What will become of this issue? Why has neither the President nor Govener Romney addressed this yet? Why wasn’t Orange Colored Turd the name of Snooki’s autobiography? Will I just end this article with a series of questions that will probably never be answered?

Watch This:

A collection of the worse answers ever said on a gameshow.

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