Here you can learn about some of the exciting members of cheesegod.com. These are the people who pretend to work hard every day to bring you this website of crap.

MR. FISH

DOB: 2/3/56 HT: 4FT 4 HOME: 2000 gallon tank SMELL: fishy

Mr. Fish is in charge of customer relations, training, and not grossing us out to much by his huge fish-like-head.

Mr. Fish enjoys boating, balencing strange objects on his nose, sneezing, and hanging out of his car window shoating at passerbyers, “STOP LOOKING AT MY HUGE FISH-LIKE-HEAD!”

When not hanging out at cheesegod.com he sells small clothes at the Short People HQ and is a gym teacher at the local High School.

LANCE FROMAN

DOB: 8/2/78 HT: 5 FT 5 HOME: His parents attic FEEL: BUMPY

Lance Froman is in charge of our budget, going to 7-11 for us to get coffee, and being the poor target of our hurtful insults (Yeah I know it’s mean, but look at him!)

Lance also works at the movie theatre where he tells customers that they’re better off waiting for Leppricaun 9 than seeing any crap that’s out now like “Sixth Sense”. He has also been known to rush to the local Barnes & Noble to buy the latest edition of Websters dictionary to check it for spelling mistakes.

MR. DADDY

DOB: 5/30/31 HT: 5 ft 6 HOME: unknown VISION: Blurry

We’re not quite sure about Mr. Daddy, if that is his real name…and it is… or not. Just recently becoming an official member (ooo! What a big honor!) he’s been hanging around the office for the past few months bothering us. We think he used to be the janitor, but went insane along the way. He’s been known to sing and dance around our office while we’re trying to work. A few months ago he hacked our site replacing our main page with him singing “lollipop,” it took us 2 months to get our site back up (not because it was a lot of work, but because we’re lazy). You can see him singing a newer song in a hidden toon inside the first untitled toon on this site.

NICK CRUDPANTS

DOB: 4/11/59 HT: 6 FT 1 HOME: A House TASTE: corny

Nick is in charge of advertising. Unfortunatley we don’t have a budget for advertising so he pretty much just hangs around and shows off his vests.

Don’t let the name Crudpants fool you, his pants aren’t really cruddy (actually they smell pretty good I must say… uh… not that I would know.. heh heh).

Nick is also an Art teacher at the local high school. He as also been know to dance while only wearing his vest for nickels. He actually pretty good at it (Uh… so I’ve heard anyway… heh-heh)

MIKE RAPSTINKS

DOB: 11/30/62 HT: 5 FT 5 HOME: His Buick SOUND: Mumbled

And finaly that’s me on the left. I’m in charge of writing the intro page, the descriptions of all the idiots (er… geniuses) to actually join this site. I also do other pages on this site. Notice how I do all the work while these other guys get easy jobs. I mean I’m sitting in front the computer all the day writing pages of HTML, while these guys get to just hang around. I mean what does Mr. Fish do anyway? Customer relations? We’re not a store! We have no customers. And Lance! Sure he does the budget but he has a big afro. And Nick… well Nick’s okay because he has a cute ass (did I say cute ass… i meant… uh….. a way of doing things that a man can appreciate without being gay…. yeah.. that’s the ticket)

Anywho I also work selling beta video cassette cleaners door to door, unfortunatley business has been slow so I had to take this job too (See everythings not because I’m in love with Nick, not that I am). I also enjoy eating popcorn because makes me smile like an idiot.