STARBUCKS SUCESSFULLY CLONED
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In a press conference on Tuesday, Starbucks announced that they had successfully cloned one their coffee house. The process involved taking DNA from an existing Starbucks and inserting it into an unfertilized egg. Starbucks plans on using this method to open five million new locations this year. Last year seven million new ones were opened. The reason for the drop in number is because they are running out of places to put them. New location this year will include one inside the Whitehouse, Amish town, another 500 or so for New York City including a controversial 150 story store at Ground Zero, and one inside a McDonalds, which is actually inside another Starbucks, which is inside a Duane Reade... which is inside another, bigger Starbucks. "We heard there's a small town in Nevada that only has one Starbucks. We were thinking about opening another location there. The only problem is that the only people who live there work at the other Starbucks, so we don't know where we'd get more employees from," said John Starbuck, owner of Starbucks (duh). Also in the works is a new service called, "Personal Starbucks." For a small fee you can have a mini Starbucks opened in your house. When he was asked how they could afford to open so many new stores Mr. Starbucks replied, "We charge five bucks for a cup of coffee, you do the math!" |
 Stupid little log I made to represent Starbucks cloning... pretty nifty, eh? |
