Back in the 1800s if you took a train into the Cape Town station in South Africa you could have witnessed a baboon named Jack running the signals.
It started when railroad employee James Wider, better known as “Jumper” became disabled. He had earned his nickname because he was known to jump from train car to train car. One day he didn’t jump so well, and wound up loosing both his legs. Since Obamacare wouldn’t exist for another 150 years or so, Jumper had to carve two new legs for himself and made a little trolley to push himself around in. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for him to be able to continue doing his job.
One day Jumper was shopping and saw a baboon pulling an ox wagon. Impressed how smart the primate was, he begged the owner for the baboon. The owner didn’t really want to let the baboon go, but Jumper played the disabled card and the owner relented.
Jumper and Jack the baboon started a work partnership. Each day the two would leave for work together. Jack would push Jumper up a hill in his trolley. When they reached the top, Jack would jump into the trolley with Jumper and the two would ride down together.
Once at the train station, Jack would work the signals as Jumper looked on. If a conductor needed coal, he would blast his train whistle four times and Jack would bring him the key for the coal shed.
Eventually, the railroad authorities learned that a baboon was running the train station and immediately fired Jumper. However, Jumper protested and gave a demonstration of how good Jack was at his job. The railroad authorities were so impressed, they rehired Jumper and Jack, making the baboon an official railroad employee.
In Ontario, Canada two men called 911 when they got lost in a bush. The police were able rescue them, thanks to a couple of dogs.
So what’s the deal? They were on “some sort of drug”. Remember kids, don’t do drugs, unless you are not near a bush.
Still, better to be stuck in a bush, then be stuck with President Bush for eight years, amiright?
May 15th is Sliders day. The day we celebrate the 1990s Sci-Fi show with star Jerry O’Conell…. Wait, I’m being told that is completely wrong… Jerry O’ Connell was never a star. Also, Slider day is in honor of those mini burgers, not some FOX show that no one misses.. especially not me (you’ll make it home one day Professor Arturo.. stay brave).
Sliders are sold in may places these days. Applebee’s, TGI Fridays and other cruddy restaurants that sell microwaved rubber disguised as food all have them on their menu, but the most famous slider peddler would have to be White Castle.
White Castle was started in 1921. Founders Walt Anderson and Billy Ingram had a mountain to climb though because the public’s perception of ground beef was not good. The book The Jungle, which described the horrible practices of meat factories, had been released 17 years earlier but was still fresh in the public minds (before the internet people had to focus one thing for longer because there as much to read).
To combat the negative public opinion of meat they gave their restaurants white porcelain walls, stainless steel decor and employees nice clean uniforms to give off the appearance of being clean. They would go as far as to advertise the burgers as healthy. Personally, I don’t think anything that’s served out of a “sack” can be called healthy… but it works for farm animals, so whatever.
The sliders themselves were made thin and with holes to cook faster. Mr. Anderson* is often credited with inventing the hamburger bun and the assembly style of cooking, pretty much making White Castle the first fast food restaurant, predating McDonald’s first location by 19 years.
*If you’re like me, you are incapable of saying Mr. Anderson in a voice that doesn’t mimic Agent Smith from the Matrix.
Ah, the lottery. A scam to increase revenue from the poor and naive. Still, when your leaving the supermarket and you have dollar in change the cashier just handed to you after you bought your Cotton Candy flavored Oreos sometimes you just toss into that instant win scracth off machine by the exit and Redbox knockoff.
Of course, odds are you’ll lose. But the odds aren’t that the lottery ticket is going to make fun of you. But that’s exactly what a man from Elmira, NY is claiming.
Nick Lynough bought a Wheel of Fortune lottery ticket. The games plays just like Wheel of Fortune, except without the wheel or the fortune. You scratch off some letters, see if they match the ones in the phrase… and have a chance at winning.
Mr. Lynough didn’t win anything except some publicity in his local newspaper after his ticket proclaimed “YOU ELMIRA TRASH”.
Most people would have laughed it off, maybe posted it to Reddit for some free Karma, but Mr. Lynough instead called the police.
The New York State lottery has responded by saying the words are generated at random and that they will remove the word “Trash” from future tickets.