Mets Fire Hot Dog Seller
he Mets have hard this month, losing all but two games. Actually, the Mets have hard this year, so far having experienced a worse record than last years disappointing season. Come to think about it, the Mets have had a disappointing century. Since losing to the Yankees in the 2000 world series they've yet to regain entry to the playoffs nor even have a winning season during the last three years. You know what? The Mets have sucked ever since they first picked up a bat in 1962.

But, now 42 years and a Joe Orsulak later, the Mets are appearing to take action. They've already announced the termination of current manger Art Howe and all his coaches. The Mets are hoping to negotiate a deal with Lou Pinella, who's proved he can manage a losing team just as well as any ex-Mets manager can while with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

But Mets are not stopping there. The Mets have fired Howe, but the Met's are still losing despite this (granted, that even though Howe was fired he still is managing the team for some reason). So who else can they blame. Armando Benitez? Nope. Already traded him the the Marlins where he's having an All Star season. Maybe Bobby Valentine? No, wait, he was the manager that Mets fans hated and demanded he be fired despite actually producing a winning record with the team. Mo Vaughn? Good try, Although he's still on the payroll, Vaugn hasn't actually played a game in over a year due to being too fat to fit into his hummer and drive to the game. You may have read about him in the news recently. So who else? Mel Rojas? John Rocker? Dallas Green? Choo choo Colemon? Tim McCarver? George McClevane? Steve Phillips? Bob Apadaca? George W. Bush? Nope, all gone... well not Bush... yet... I don't think we can blame this one on him anyway. Maybe Michael Moore can find a way.

There is one group of men who has stayed with the Mets throughout these losing times. Are you thinking, "Owner Fred Wilpon, his idiot son in the front office, and Jim Duquette the GM who traded away all of the young promising player for a beef burrito?"

Nope, wrong! Then who? The Hot Dog vendors of course! Those damn people who walk past you at the stadium every two seconds screaming, "HOT DOG! HOT DOG HERE!" It's there fault!

The Mets philosophy of the week is that the players won't play well unless the fans are cheering them on. The fans won't cheer them on if they're unhappy with there hot dog service. Of course the Hot Dog vendors will argue that the reason they no longer receive cheers is because most fans stopped showing up months ago and the few that do show up have nothing to cheer about. Many fans don't even buy hot dogs because they can't afford the $5 price tag after paying $50 for their ticket. Excuses, excuses.

So, as announced last night to distract the press from the Mets losing a game to the last place Expos, all Hot Dog guys will be terminated at the end of the month. Mr. Met, you're next! << Home