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It's just as everyone feared, there is more Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring footage. Discovered under a box of month old Krispy Kreme donuts in the New Line Studios, this footage is guaranteed to excite the geeky and bore the rest even more. "This is an exciting day," said New Line president Tom Veil as he lit his cigar with a $100 bill, "we now have a movie totaling 232 hours long. The only movie longer than this was that Kevin Costner's Waterworld: Extended Cut (the movie was extended to include 22 hours of baseball for no apparent reason)." Included in this footage is Bilbo Baggins eating a danish, Gandolf doing his taxes, and Frodo battling the ghost of Hitler (see picture on the right). There's also a bunch of other footage of them just walking around. Wooo! So, what does New Line plan on doing with this extra footage? Release another edition on to DVD of course! This new 12 DVD set will be called the Ultra Collectors Mega Special Edition and will come with all the behind scenes footage, commentary on special effects and film making, music videos, deleted scenes, outtakes and other special features that were on the previous three editions to come out in the last three months, but this one will also include this new footage. Oh yeah, the actual movie might be on their somewhere too. This will thrill true collectors because it will be available in five different colors. This set should keep tide LOTR fans over long enough until the next edition comes out three months from now, which will be exacvtly the same except that it will come with a Frodo snap bracelet. The set is also due for a release on the UVF format, although New Line is holding it back until everyone has bought it on DVD first for maximum profit. "Fans will be delighted to buy this crap... err.. collector's piece. We should have five or more editions out before The Two Towers comes out, then we can repeat this whole process!" In related news, Steven Spielberg has announced he plans to make another edition of E.T. In this one, the Reece's Pieces will be replaced with sushi, the word "the" will be exchanged with "Fudruckers", and the FBI agents will now all have pink bows in their hair. When asked why Spielberg just responded, "Because I can." |
 Lord of the Rings can now be longer... joy
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