Eminem is on top of the world. No, he's not at the North Pole chillin' (Ha! Chillin! Get it!) with Tim Allen, rather the symbolic world of entertainment. Tim Allen represents Dr. Dre, chillin' represents making a whole lot of money for just whining, and the North Pole can represent his home in Detroit. And Ha! can represent... uh... no... I guess that doesn't represent anything.|
With his multi-platinum selling CDs, his sold out shows, his top grossing movie, his multiple music awards, and his new line of disposable underwear selling well, you'd think he'd be sitting pretty high. Not high on pot, but the symbolic high of... okay, that's enough of that.
But Eminem is on a mission. Eminem explains, "I was lookin' at my daughter the other day while I was trying to think of a good lyric about hitting a faggot over the head with a rubber dildo when I had a thought. It wasn't the usual thought I have about murdering my ex-wife either. I thought, "Damn, Hailey (his daughter) don't like this type of music. She likes that Sesame Street sh*t and that big purple child molester, you know, tha' one who's always singin' about how he loves kids."
That thought was enough to make Eminem decide for good he was putting out a children's album.
"I think it's an excellent idea," record producer Paul Morris said while wearing an Armani suit bought with money ripped off from emerging artists, "We lose out on a huge audience by not going after those under the age of 8. We tried to target his last album to kids but for some reason parents refused to buy it for them."
The album is expected to be a big seller. Other bands have already have had success releasing children's albums including no-name bands like, "They Might Be Giants."
"Truth is, our children's album sounds a lot like all our other albums," said They Might Be Giants front man John Flansburgh as he pushed fellow member John Linnell out of the way, "we thought maybe if it was a children's album someone might actually buy it."
Paul Morris remains hopeful on the idea.
"I think it could be our biggest money making idea since we sued M&M's candy for stealing our name."
Eminem thinking about making a children's song called, "I like to suck lollipops and my dad likes to suck d*ck"