The white house released information today proudly stating that it
finally located Dick Cheney. Cheney, who's been missing for a long
portion of the Bush presidency, was found living in a hole in order to hide from the
Upon discovery the vice president said, "My name is Dick Cheney. I am the Vice President of the United States. I'd like to negotiate." He was found with his trademark suitcase of money, which he carries in case an emergency bribe has to be made to get a contract for Haliburton.
The location of Cheney has been romored or thought to be many different places over the last couple of years. The most thought of was to be that he lived a double life as Joe Leiberman, the outcast of the Democratic primary (Al Sharpton doesn't count, as usual).
The capture has proved to mean little however, as Dick Cheney was found of Fox News. They congratulated him on a job well done and went on the report that he wasn't living in the hole but rather was helping his employees dig for oil.
According to experts on the
Dick Cheney has since moved from the hole and his current location is unknown. But a good guess would be somewhere convincing someone Saddam Hussein was the one who made the mydoom virus.
By the way, I went through this whole article without making a "Dick" in a hole joke, because I'm a classy guy.
Wipe that sly look off your face, Dick.