Hollywood, CA - Announced just yesterday, the new Backstreet Boys album, entitled Cornholed, will only be available via cell phone ring tones. Ill-advised preteens around the world rejoiced that soon their cell phones will ring with the newest hits.

"OH MY GAWD! Like, I can't wait, " exclaimed 11 year old Amy who was wearing a "I love the WB" shirt, "Like, I can't wait until my friends call so I can hear MY favorite songs. It's a shame I have to actually talk one of them"

It remains a mystery how a band only known for their superficiality and whose members can't actually play any instruments are releasing instrumental songs

"My favorite is the song 'Banana Squatter'," said Heather who was lucky enough (yeah, lucky, right...) to gain an illegal copy of the songs through her ultimate-futuristic-cell-phone-ring-time-machine-thingy," every time I hear it I squee!, They're so dreamy! They got such lovely voices and I can just imagine how it would sound if they actually sang on it." She then added a bubbly giggle for full effect.

One also wonders how an instrumental song could keep the attention of today's poorly focused society. Well, each song would only be approximately 3 to 5 seconds in length and have the most simple chord structure. This would allow for the least possible concentration on the music, and more focus on what really matters; boys.

Backstreet Boys hangin' out
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