New Soda Flavors On The Way!

We recived millions of emails and a ton of rewards for our breaking story. Since then more new sodas have been anounced by the major brands including Vanilla Coke and A cherry Dr. Pepper. But it doesn't stop there. Since this story originaly broke cheesegod.com has learned of more new flavors! Take a look:

Mr. Fish Soda-Pop

Mr. Fish saw a need in the market for another soda and decided he wanted your money! I know what you're thinking. No, it doesn't taste like fish. It's a find blend of seltzer, sugar, caffene, fruits, and each bottle containd a small amount of Mr. Fish's own excrement... actually I guess it does tast a little like fish. Mr. Fish says, "The whole world has been sh*ting on me since the day I was born, this my chance to do it on them... except it's in their mouth... so it's worse..." Sounds yummy.

English Cheese Soda It would only be appropiate that the first new soda revealed on cheesegod.com would be cheese flavored. Tiger Aspect Inc. of Camden is the brains behind this outfit. Desperate to come up with a flavor that hasn't already been done they chose cheese as their flavor. They also decided they needed a big time celebrity to help launch to product. And who's bigger than Rowan Atkinson, star of Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean of course is one of England biggest shows ever lasting all of 15 episodes (if you count the clip show). It's amazing Atkinson found time out of his busy schedule to take on this project. In the last couple of years he's had a bit part in movies Scooby Doo and Rat Race and still found time to record one episode of the hit "Blackadder." Phew. How does he do it?

QUIXOTIC This new drink from the Viacom corporation has been touted as the slam packing, engery serving, sports drink for those who live on the edge, skateboard, disrespect authority, listen to loud music and whatever else you can think of that's cool. When Viacom's representives were asked what the drink actually tastes like they all just looked at each other. Finaly leader, Sumner Redstone, finaly just said that he wasn't sure but assured us that it would be "Bitchin."

Schleef Cola This one is a bit of a brain teaser. It's named after Jim Schleef former Managing Director of Commack Multiplex, but no one's sure why. The label also sports a picture of Weird Al from 1981, but again, no one's sure why. We tried to find out more but were turned away at the door of the barn where the stuff is "prepared for human consuimption." While looking around outside we did find a lot of discarded pizza boxes, some old porno tapes, and some teething rings. More as we uncover more...

Bush Berry Finaly president George W. Bush has released his own soft drink called Bush Berry. At a press conferance held last tuesday he said he makes it my taking three scoops of cherry Kool-Aid and adding it to a pitcher of water, then mixing it. When it was made aware to the president that it wasn't an unorginal drink, but just cherry Kool-Aid he just pouted, "No! I made it all by myself." He then ran behind into the arms of his father who hiding behind the curtain telling him what to say.

Well there you have it. These new beverages will be available soon at a retailor near you. Among the first sellers will be Medford's own Brookhaven Multiplex. Enjoy! << Home