Where are the Terrorists
by Mike Rapstinks
So I got my Cipro. I got my gas mask. I got my bottled water. I got my fallout shelter. But what I don't have is the terrosist attacks!
For the last 10 months all I've been hearing has been warnings about terrorists attacks. How the terrorists might attack. So where are they?
Hello!!! Osama! What the hell!? There's no way I spent all this money on Cipro for nothing! I got justify it somehow. So all those terrorists better do something, and do it soon. Every night I turn on MSNBC only to hear what might happen, but never that it has happend! I can't take it!
The Dirty Bomb was almost, but not quite. I don't understand. Why did the whitehouse bother to warn us if they were just going to spoil his attack anyway?! Why?
I spent hours trying to figure out how exactly to live in a gas mask for the rest of my life. Trying to learn how I'll take my Cipro with it on, how I'll still be able to eat popcorn. And how? How? How will I ever be able to please Nick with it on?? I mean.. uh.. with my jokes... it's hard to talk with that thing on... yeah.
So I implore you Mr. Bush, if you're reading this (I'm sure he is, this is is his favorite website after the Sponge Bob Squarpants site) let the terrorists attack. We need em'. Remember how patriotic we were after 9/11? Well look at us now! We could care less again. We'll only relize how great something is if it's gets blown up. Maybe you can just blow something else up yourself! It'll help you're approval rating!
People love a good war. But so far this war sucks! Everything happend in the first two months. Now we just sit around bored when watching the news. In fact even the news has relized this and has gotten desperate enough to go back to talking about J. Lo and Puffy again. Eminem is on top of the charts! Hell, let's attack him, that might be fun!
I was so prepared for more attacks. I got every supply I could think of. Bottled water, soup in a can, a manure burning stove. I started recording Who wants to be a millionare? so I'd have something to watch. I planned my exit route perfectly so I'd be able to leave the house if I had to. Perfectly positioning my most valuable possesions, my Phantom Of The Opera Sucks T-shirt and Life Size poster of Nick, so I could easily grab them on my way out.
So I sit here and wait. I wait for the next terrorist attacks. But everyday without an attack I die a little inside.
