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Fake News



So I go out today to do my laundry. You know to wash my clothes... what else? When I got there all the machines are taken except for one. But there's some pretty boy sitting on it, using it as him throne of stupidity. So I say, "Get the hell off that machine before I do something that'll hurt you in some way."

Yeah, I know. That sounded stupid. I couldn't think of anything better to say at the time. If I had to do it over again I'd probably say something much better. Like, "Hey, get off that machine before I do something to hurt you in some way, pretty boy."

But anyway, after I say it he tells me to buzz off. Then he calls me a piss ant! A piss ant? I hate those things! Damn piss ants. Those are the lowest creatures I can think of. How they crawl all over you and pee in your tea. I can't think of anything lower than them, except maybe the NY Jets.

So, I say to this guy, "Piss ant? Piss ant? You want a piss ant, I'll show you a piss ant!" Then I go over to his folded laudry and piss all over it. Then I say, "A-ha! Looks like someone wet his sheets! And it's me!"

So now, he's really pissed and he makes like to punch me. So I bite his head off and spit it into the machine doing his whites. Of course his laundry becomes ruined now due to all the blood. That outta show him.

Well, anyway, short story a little longer. It turns out it wasn't a laundrymat, just this dude's house. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

Your master, Mr. Fish