A tragic tragedy became even more tragic when the tragic fire that has overwhelmed the tragic state of California melted the tragic musician Michael Jackson… King of Tragedy.

Over 1,100 houses have become victim to the fire that rages through California, showing that even Mother Nature wants to punish those who voted for Arnold Swartzenegger. The governor elect had his skin burned away as well, exposing his
mechanical skeleton. The so-called actor went on a tirade in a factory before
getting his arm stuck in a vending machine, trying to score a free coke. The
Coke machine fell on top of him, terminating the terminator. Microsoft was able to salvage some of the terminator’s mechanical body and is planning on
studying the technology to build a better MP3 player… THAT WILL RISE UP AGAINST MAN!

But the biggest tragedy, and returning the actual purpose of this article… I always do that, I’m typing up this article, get sidetracked and start typing up something that has to do with nothing, I mean c’mon if you consider the arguments held in front of us by greats such as Felipe Alou and Tony Danza we’d all see… um, anyway, as I was saying… The greatest tragedy is the loss of Michael Jackson. Known for his hits in the 80s, his child raping in the 90s, and his ability to freak us out in the 00s, Michael Jackson has always been on the front page of the tabloids and in the back of our hearts.

Jackson was caught in one fire while trying to rescue his My Buddy doll from aburning building. He tried to fend off the fire with his umbrella to avail (Yes! Avail! Get it! Cause he wears a veil in public! Ha! How do I do it?).

The top plastic surgeons and Play-Doe experts are currently working hard on Michael Jackson, trying to rebuild his face.

We’ll have more on this story as it happens… actually we won’t, but it sounds
good.

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