Well, Napster is back! Kind of. We all use to love Napster. Who could forget downloading our favorite Metallica tunes, not because we actually liked the band, but because it was fun to piss them off.

The new Napster service is just like the old… except it looks different… and is costs money now… and it doesn’t have an endless selection of songs.

Users will now be expected to pay as much as $1 per download. Each song will be guaranteed top quality with excellent download speeds.

But what about all that stuff the new Napster can’t give us? Like those never finished, half downloaded songs. Or those songs that were mislabeled, so instead of downloading what you thought was the new Dave Mathews song turned out to be Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice. What about all those computer Viruses found on other services like Kazza and Morpheous? Not to mention the spyware! And what about the porno? Dear god, won’t someone please think of the porno!

Well there’s no need to run in the corner in cry! Because crying over something like that would be stupid. But also, because Cheesegod.com is pleased to announce Crapster, the crappy alternative to Napster.

With Crapster we guarantee a wide assortment of viruses. Ones Norton hasn’t even heard of! Plenty of Spyware, so those spammers will always have access to you! And don’t forget the porno! Everything on crapster that’s not a virus, will be porno! We will also randomly kick users off the server so you’ll never be able to finish downloading that huge file.

Crapster will be cheap at the low price of $9.94 per month, or 99 cents for a la carte downloading. So sign up mow, before it signs up for you!

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