Cheesegod.com has learned that International Terrorist Osama Bin Laden has been diagnosed with depression.
“Nobody wants to pay any attention to him anymore,” Bin Laden’s psychiatrist told us. “Everything is Hussein this and Hussein that. Sure Hussein killed and gassed a few people here and there, but that’s nothing compared to Osama.”
Neighbors have told us he barely ever leaves his cave anymore. He just hangs out all day in his robe and slippers on. Sounds of his sobbing often echoes from within.
“He always yelling, ‘Who’s building do you have to fly a plane into to get some attention around here!,'” one neighbor told us as she walked her poodle.
Reports indicate that Osama was especially upset when he heard that Bush want to spend an additional 87 billion dollars in Iraq, more than twice that being spent on homeland security.
“That money should be used to stop me, not Saddam. First he gets the credit for 9/11, now this,” Osama has been known to cry out while sleeping.
“He just want attention,” his psychiatrist told us in addition to what we already quoted him on above, “He’s not such a bad guy. He just does bad things so people will pay attention to him. He’s lonely. Poor guy.”