Early reports of a possible trade between the New York Mets and Taco Bell have not come to light.
“We tried hard,” interim general manager Jim Duquette told us, “but in the end enough of us in the office decided we just weren’t in the mood for Mexican.”
The deal was rumored to bring two nacho cheese chalupas, a 7-layer burrito and possibly a Cheesey Gordida Crunch in exchange for pitcher Armando Benitez.
Although details of the possible trade are still sketchy, our inside source has told us the deal fell through because of money.
“The Mets wanted Taco Bell to pick up all of Benitez’s Multi-million dollar salary for the rest of the year,” a pimply teen at the drive-thru window told us, “Taco Bell was only willing to pay $5.15 an hour*.”
The news came as a disappointment for Met fans, who want the 2003 All Star gone at any price. The Mets organization is still trying to come up with ideas on how to get rid of Benitez and make Met fans happy.
“We were thinking about a Benitez stoning day,” Duquette told us, “We figured we’ll just have him stand out there on the mound and everyone in the stands can throw stones at him.”
“Sometimes I with they would just throw stones at me,” Benitez said afterwards, “It would hurt less than their hurtful jeers.” Benitez than ran off crying into the showers where he was comforted by Mike Piazza, who has an injured groin… in case you’re wondering.
In the meantime the Mets organization will have to find somewhere else to get lunch.
“I was thinking about Pizza,” Duqette said, “you think Domino’s would take Burnitz?”
*In case Jim Dolan is reading this, $5.15 an hour is minimum wage.
Benitez shows off his Taco Bell hat
Yeah, it’s a crappy image, I don’t see you doing better!