The Pentagon has announced it is sending members of the LAPD to aid the troops in the search of the weapons of mass destruction.
The LAPD was chosen due to their amazing ability to find weapons on already shot criminals. Even those who didn’t seem to have any weapons on them at first.
“These gentleman are amazing,” said Pentagon official Felipe Alou, “I’ve worked with these guys in the past. There were times they’d shoot a suspect criminal who didn’t look like they had a weapon. But sure enough the cop would walk over there and he’d somehow find a gun on the body. It was like magic.”
The group sent will be led by ex-infamous detective Mark Furmnan, who’s bringing his special turban that covers his entire face and is pointy on the top.
“It’s going to be tough,” Furman told anyone who’d listen, “There’s a lot of non-whites there, so they can’t be trusted… what? It’s not like you didn’t already know I was racist!
Support the troops… or I’ll kill you!