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If you were shocked to learn that some New York Times stories had been plagiarized, prepare to be shocked to a higher degree… or something. Every story in the paper is plagiarized.

In our exclusive cheesegod.com investigation we found numerous indications in each story that pointed to it being unoriginal.

We picked up a copy of today’s New York Times at the local “Newstop,” whose owners must either not now how to spell or couldn’t afford to buy the extra ‘S’ for their sign, and right away we began to notice news being taken from other sources.

First we read an article about website rip-off Netflix had just successfully patented the DVD subscription service. But we already have heard this story. How? It was already told on both TechTV and Headline News the day before. The Times didn’t write this story at all. Not in the least bit of originality.

Next we took a look at a story about President Bush visiting New York to raise money for his 2004 campaign. But this actually happened! Bush did come to New York. Bush did raise money!

These are just a couple of examples of the New York Times lack of originality. Every story in the paper was actually stuff that had already happened. These writers didn’t come up with these ideas at all.

This may just be the tip of the ice burgh, and we all know how dangerous ice burghs can be. An ice burgh sunk the Titanic which ultimately led to the success of Celion Dion.

The only thing we found in the paper that wasn’t plagiarized was the TV listings. But, ironically enough, it seems that every television station plagiarized the Times. We watched with amazement has every show the Times had written would be at a certain time, on a certain station actually came on at the exactly how the Times has said.

Perhaps the Times should follow the example of such fine news sources as the New York Post who actually does make up every one of their stories. Well all except the one about the 2-headed cat, that one actually happened. The Aquabats told me so….

It seems no one is safe from the curse of plagiarism though. Even cheesegod.com has been copied. Check out this website that not only stole our scoop on the untiippable coke machine, but actually just copied it word for word including those lovable grammatical errors:


The originalThe copy

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