Former green party member, current also-ran, Ralph Nader said he is considering a 2008 presidential defeat.
“I’m currently mulling it over,” Nader told us from his tree fortress, “Running an unsuccessful presidential campaign is hard work. But if the people want me to fail, I feel I have an obligation to do so.”
Ralph Nader has run for the last 24 presidential races, and has lost all of them. He is just three loses away from setting the record for most losses, a record currently held by former Met loser Anthony Young. Close friends of Nader have spoke of his desire to obtain the record.
“He use to want to win, but then he lost. So now he figures if he gets this record, it’ll be like winning,” Nader cohort Bushroot* told us.
Nader’s first election campaigns were carried out seriously, but after constant losing his views started to change. When Nader figured out winning was most likely beyond his reach, while losing most definitely wasn’t, his approach to running morphed into something more destructive.
To make sure the losing streak continued, Nader began implementing surefire ways to lose votes. During his last presidential run in 2004, Nader gave a few speeches wearing only a leather G-string, announced his support for interspecies marriage, and refused to appear on Bill O’Reily’s TV show because he wanted nothing to do with people that vote.
*A Darkwing Duck reference… sorry.