Upper class and middle class wannabe upper class Americans finally have an option to drive something bigger than that Hummer they are currently sporting. The new 2006 consumer line tanks are running off the line.

Bigger is better and nothing can be more true when your dropping your kids off at school in one of these babies every other parent is just soooo jealous of your ride. And do you think anyone is going to cut you off when your barreling down the highway at the top speed of 60mph. Sure, they could, and you could also barrel over them at the next red light.

Other features include the ability to talk on your cell phone all you want and not have to worry about getting pulled over by the cops. How will they know what you are doing? There are no windows. There’s also plenty of extra space on the back for all your “My child is an honor student” bumper stickers and “Support the Troops” sun/rain faded yellow magnet ribbons.

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