Labels: yankees

¶ 10:59:00 AM 0 Comments

Everyone in the Yankee organization were celebrating just a few days ago when a trade with the Texas Rangers was successfully negotiated for "A Rod." Unfortunately miscommunication occurred somewhere along the line and the team wound up getting an actual rod, instead of Alex Rodriguez, who goes by a similar nickname.

The Yankees have no choice to face the facts now that they traded away a good player, a potentially good player, and are going to waste a whole lot of of money on a rod that analysts are predicting to bat only .000 this year.

"Uh, oops," said Yankee personnel Cashman, "I knew I should of read the agreement over before we signed it. I was just so giddy! I couldn't contain myself."

Steinbrenner, who experienced 3 heart-attacks after learning of the news (only two were because of the A-Rod fiasco, the other was because he has an extra large bowl of chili for breakfast that day) immediately demanded that his slew of henchman quickly negotiate another deal.

Mets and Red Sox fans celebrated, something they often don't get to do, over the predicament. As the celebration ensued Yankee fans defended themselves the usual way by asking over and over what team won the most World Series ever. Met fans would respond by saying that they at least still have 1986, and then Boston fans would just break down, cry, shake their fists at the sky yelling, "Damn You, Bill Buckner!"

Celebrating was cut short soon because the Yankees and their endless supply of money and hitman were soon able acquire the real Alex Rodriguez and paraded him in front of the media much like they did when signed King Kong back in the '30s. That acquisition of course went sour when Kong broke loose and climbed the Empire State Building, in the first act of terrorism that lead to the false justification for World War II. This lead to the Yankees having to quickly fill in the hole in their line up with Babe Ruth. But I must stop with this story now, as I'm sure I'm causing more Red Sox fans to cry.

Labels: alex rodriguez, brian cashman, george steinbreener, king kong, red sox, yankees

¶ 11:05:00 AM 0 Comments

X106 gloated about playing the song "Magic Stick" for the fifteenth hundred time on Saturday. "We're really happy to announce the record playing of this record" DJ Wacky Jacky told us as he hit an applause button on his sound effects board "No record has been played this much since the Titanic song. We still play that song sometimes on "Freaky Friday Festival of Fun" except we add these hilarious sounds of ocean liners hitting things and people screaming, it's great!" X106 is a local all hits station that prides itself on playing the top 5 hit songs on the Billboard charts, and actually cheated to get the record. The song was accidentally played for five hours straight on Thursday night, Midnight Mike fell asleep while on his shift and left the CD on repeat, nobody noticed any difference though. "Magic Stick" has begun taking it's place in popular culture. Derek Jeater now has the song play when he comes to bat at Yankee Stadium. Legendary porn star Ron Jeremy does something similar, we understand. "We like to play the life out of songs. Everybody used to like "Livin La Vida Loca" we sure took care of that," whatever stupid DJ mentioned before told us "We just have to wait until the next big song hits to kill it. We can't play "Magic Stick" forever, it'll just seem like it."

Is this what they mean by magic stick? I'm so out of the loop. Help me!

Labels: msn music, radiohead, yankees

¶ 6:26:00 PM 0 Comments