1/18/2008
Everything that receives hype is always a let down. The final episode of Seinfeld, the 2007 Mets, the 2004 election, that peanut butter sandwich I ate last night.... So when I sat down last night to watch Cloverfield, the new monster flick from Lost creator J.J. Abrams, I wasn't expecting much.The hype started back in July when the first trailer for the movie showed up on Transformers. The trailer featured a severed Statue Liberty Head flying across the streets on New York City disrupting a going away party. It featured no title, just the date 1-18-08. The film was codenamed Cloverfield and for months everyone on the internet buzzed about what this movie could possibly be. Then, they named the movie Cloverfield... so that killed a little bit of excitement right there. Then posters, commercials, and anything else that you can use for advertising all seemed to feature that headless Statue of Liberty. I began to wonder if that was the only thing the movie had going for it, that they had nothing else cool to show from the movie and therefor just kept showing that one scene. Finally, when the buzz on the internet started wondering if the movie would even ever show the monster responsible for decapitating national landmarks, I came to the conclusion that this film was just a cross between Godzilla and Blair Witch. And that wouldn't excite anyone. And, lets face it, many people have felt let down my Lost over the last season or two, so it seems Abrams would have experience in this.
But perhaps it was because I had killed all my positive expectations before I even started watching the movie is why I enjoyed it. Although Blair Witch meets Godzilla is still an accurate description, it did not suck like those two aforementioned movies.
Cloverfield, disguised as a classified government tape found in the site formally known as Central Park, is indeed a film about a couple of youngins getting their party disrupted by a mysterious monster while documenting the entire thing with a camcorder (By the way, this camcorder has to have the best surround sound I've ever heard, you'd think having only a singular microphone would give you nothing more than mono sound.). The camcorder gimmick gives us a more personable feel to the characters and the situation in the film, trying to make us feel like we could be right there with them and, overall, a more realistic feel to it.
The film keeps up a good amount of suspense as the characters try to rescue the main star's love interest from her midtown apartment. Although one could argue, as I am right now I guess, that the main star in the film is the monster and the destruction he (she?) causes . The characters presented in the movie aren't bad, but there's not exactly anything new or overly interesting about them. The most likable character, and possibly not coincidentally, is the one you see least. Hud, the guy operating the camcorder, is kind of like Moose from the Archie comics. Although, I have not figured out why he is named after the department of Housing and Urban Development.
I will not to go into too much details, as the the makers of the film seemed to want to keep everyone in the dark about it up until now. Plus much of the movie's suspense and action kind of rely on the "what's going to happen next" feel. But, yes you do see the monster.
So, anyway, yes, I recommend checking this movie out. It's a lot better than 27 dresses at least.
Labels: archie, cloverfield, mets, movies, reviews
¶ 12:08:00 PM
10/03/2007
Labels: movies, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium
¶ 1:26:00 PM 7/05/2007
The American movie watcher sure love their trilogies. Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Matrix, and Back to the Future have all made a hefty some of money. Star Wars has two trilogies, one good, one not so good. But for some reason everyone seems to forget about the Major League trilogy.However, after viewing Major League III: Back to the Minors, I can safely say why people don't stand up and take notice of this trio of movies more often: The third film sucked. Not that the first two were golden pieces of film history themselves, but they at least seceded in being a goofy fun movie about baseball. The only thing Major League seems to succeed at was providing HBO Comedy something fill up their 2am spot with.
Major League III stars Scott Bakula of Quantum Leap, and Ted McGinley of Married With Children. Now you may say, "Hey, I don't remember either of these two 'As Seen on TV' actors being in either of the first two Major League movies!" Well my friend, not to worry, you are not suffering from some kind of terrible brain parasite that eats your memories, neither of them were. So why are they in this film? Because either A) the producers were too cheap to rehire most of the original actors, or B) they offered it to the original actors, but they were smart enough to turn it down (except for Charlie Sheen who was probably in rehab). Either way, this new cast results in a movie with a storyline about as enthralling as an episode Married with Children and as funny as an episode of Quantum Leap.
Oh, not to worry, some of the original actors came back. Who could forget such big name actors as Dennis Haysbert, Bob Uecker, Corbin Bernsen, Eric Bruskotter, Takaaki Ishibashi, and Steve Yeager. All of them household names of course. It's never really explained how the characters playing these characters wound up in the Minors plaing for The Buzz. In one movie they're on the American League Championship team, the next movie they're all playing together on a struggling Minor League team. Roger Dorn, played for the Indians in the first film, owned the Indians in the second, and in the third somehow seems to own the Twins. Bob Uecker, who greatest acting job was on Mr. Belvedere, is now the play by play announcer for the Buzz, with no explanation of why he's no longer the announcer for the Indians.
The new characters added to film add little. There's a pitcher who solely depends on his fastball and talk like a surfer, a pitcher who throws extremely slow and might also be a doctor, an aging first baseman named Pops (kind of like Julio Franco, they're both old, and they both suck) a kid named Downtown who... you know what it's not worth the effort it takes for me to push the keys down on my keyboard to continue with these character descriptions.
I'll give you a synopsis of the plot, but even if you've never seen the movie, and for your sake I hope you have not, I'm sure you can guess for the most part what it is. In short: Team sucks. New manager takes over team. Manager teaches team, using some unorthodox methods. Team gets better.
Now, to be fair, theirs a little more to the plot than that, like the rivalry between Bakula's minor league manager character with McGinley's Major league manager character and some other pointless filler, but you get the gist.
The Seinfeld theory is that comedies don't need a great plot (or any plot) to be enjoyable, because the jokes themselves that carry the show. However, when your jokes include such lines as, "If he says Bigs again I'm going to pinch is head off," and "And I thought you came here because you missed the sound of my voice." you're out of luck. The jokes in this film are not strong enough carry Nicole Richie if she were on the moon.
Of course this movie is eight years old so you may be wondering why in the world I even care. Well, because I care about those out there who may be one browsing the deep discount used video bin at Blockbuster and pick up this title and consider buying it. Let this be your warning, stay away.
Labels: baseball, movies, seinfeld
¶ 11:42:00 PM 5/14/2007
Here are my to five picks of these neglected films:
5) Mr. Bean Holiday - 9/8
The first trailer didn't impress me much, but this new one looks promising. And, hey, it's Mr. Bean! C'mon, how could it possibly be anything less than the greatest thing ever? This film recently debuted in England at #1, knocking 300 from that position.
4) Balls Of Fury - 9/14
I know you're thinking that this and the last film both come out in September, after the Summer. Well, you're stupid, summer lasts as long as you believe it does... and when the calendar says it does.
Balls of Fury looks dumb. But Christopher Walken is in it and he cracks me up.
3) Superbad - 8/17
This is produced by and stars Seth Rogen of Freaks & Geeks, Undeclared, and 40 Year Old Virgin fame. It also has that George Michael Bluth kid from Arrested Development. How can this film possibly fail?
Also, check out the R-Rated version of the trailer.
2) King of Kong - ???
This movie... is about two guys... who play... DONKEY KONG! Awesome!
1) Knocked Up - 6/1/07
This stars Seth Rogen of Freaks & Geeks, Undeclared, and 40 Year... wait, whoa, deja-vu. Jay Baruchel, also from Undeclared, and Jason Segal, also from Freaks and Geeks, are both featured players. Need another person to connect all these movies and shows together? It's directed by Judd Apatow, who also did Freaks & Geeks, and Undeclared, and 40 Year Old Virgin. So... yes, um, here's the trailer:
Labels: Arrested Development, Christopher Walken, Donkey Kong, movies, Mr. Bean, Seth Rogen, trailers
¶ 1:23:00 PM 1/31/2007
"I work in a movie theatre. A little old church lady came to the theatre as part of a Lutheran high school group to see “Passion of the Christ.” In the course of friendly conversation I told her the movie was extremely violent and brutal. With a beaming smile, she told me she had already seen the film, this was her second time, and she couldn't wait for it to come out on DVD.
She loved the movie. Watching it through the eyes of a believer, she saw a picture about the pain her savior suffered because he loved her.
I, on the other hand, viewing it through secular eyes, I saw a picture of brutal, bloody violence. It was disgusting. I call it a sadomasochist snuff film.
If this movie was called Passion of, say John Chainey (that would be me), and they beat the sh*t out of me for two hours, this woman would be the last person ever to want to see it."
Labels: chainey, christ, movies, passion of the christ
¶ 10:10:00 PM 9/01/2006
Descriptions from IMDB:Lassie Come Home (1943):
"Hard times came for Carraclough family and they are forced to sell their dog to the rich Duke of Rudling. However, Lassie, the dog, is unwilling to leave the young Carraclough boy and sets out on the long and dangerous journey in order to rejoin him."
Bingo 1991:
"Chuckie's parents discover the stowaway pooch, and make no bones about the fact that Bingo will not accompany them on their cross-country move. What follows next is a heart warming 1000 mile adventure of puppy love and loyalty as Bingo and Chuckie encounter nutty characters and hilarious situations in thier quest to be reunited."
Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey 1993:
"Three pets are left behind when their family goes on vacation. Unsure of what happened, the animals set out on a quest to find their family. This journey across America is very dangerous and the animals risk never seeing their masters again."
Lassie (2006):
"A family in financial crisis is forced to sell Lassie, their beloved dog. Hundreds of miles away from her true family, Lassie escapes and sets out on a journey home."
Labels: dogs, hollywood, lassie, movies
¶ 12:27:00 PM 
