2/11/2007
Need some convincing? How about:
The Hallmark Channel
How exactly do you base a station on a greeting card? I'm pretty sure it's not by scheduling nothing but Walker Texas Ranger and Diagnosis: Murder reruns.
The Learning Channel
Sorry TLC. You use to be good. Back in the days of cable you were a nice supplement to the Discovery Channel as part of the education through TV experience. Now the only things you show are about decorating other people's house and "flipping" houses. The only thing I've learned from you is how annoying this reality TV virus can be.
QVC, Home Shopping Network, America's Store, Jewelry TV, ShopNBC
Why do these stations still even exist. Getting ripped of shopping from your home may have been novel 15 years ago, but doesn't the internet fill that role now?
FOX Reality
Why they hate us.
GAS
Why did Nickelodeon make this channel? Why? You might as well relabel it the Guts and Figure It Out Network, after the only two shows on this channel.
Music Choice
Does anyone actually listen to music on their TV? Why, why would you do that? No, I'm willing to bet no one does. The only reason these stations exist is so that cable company's can add another 50 to their total channel count to boast about.
Labels: chuck norris, dick van dyke, fios, fox, music choice, tlc
¶ 7:33:00 PM
1/16/2007
SMILE is a network for children that feature "Christian friendly" programing. I often pause on the station when I channel surf, not because I'm a Christian child, but because I like to laugh at low-budget low-quality stuff. But when stopped to enjoy an episode of "Colby's Clubhouse" I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
When I tuned a group of kids were talking to a WWII veteran in a park... well at least a middle aged guy pretending to be a WWII veteran. After learning he was in the great war, one of the kids told him he must have had a lot of fun fighting. He told the children about how he fought for the country and saw a lot of his friends die.
To show their appreciation of his heroics they sing him a song, which includes the kids marching in place and saluting the American flag. The WWII vet is touched by their song, but unfortunately at this point a cop kicks the vet out of the park because "the park isn't a camping ground for the homeless."
The kids go to the clubhouse to talk to Colby, who, by the way seems to a Casio keyboard with a face made out of foam rubber. The kids ask Colby why God would let a person who fought for our country to wind up homeless. Colby tells the children, all we know about this WWII veteran is that he fought in a war. We don't know what he's done since, or what he'll do in the future.
So, in other words, he deserves it. Don't question God's way. Shut up kids, quit your whining.
Right before I flipped to the next station they decided to pray for the veteran. Better than nothing I suppose.
Labels: casio, clubhouse, colby, fios, god, verizon, wwii
¶ 11:38:00 PM 
