"We still have to run some more tests on the artifact, but if it's as old as
some of us suspect this could be a major breakthrough," Super Nerd
Computer Historian Josh Guzzle told us.

The disc, which offers a whopping 2 hours of internet access for free, was
with an A.C. Slater pepper shaker.
Scientists find this of particular interest because no one has admited to
liking Saved By The Bell since the early 90's, and even then...

An AOL disc that dates back to 1994 would be the oldest disc known so far. It
would actually predate the great "AOL CD Avalanche" that took 15 lives in a
landfill in 1999.

Historians are eager to check the disc out on a computer, but are still
searching for one that still has a floppy drive.

"We went down to the high school, but they were still using href="/odds/c64.jpg" target="odds">Commodore 64s. Chris says he has an
original iMac in his basement. We'll have to see if it still works," Guzzle
told us while picking his nose, wearing taped glasses, adjusting his pocket
protector, petting his calculator, and anything else nerdy you can think of,
"We'll have to wear eye protection when we power up the iMac. The horrible
light up colored back is likely to blind us all."

Once they have the disc running in the computer, the geeks scientists
plan to on laughing at the "archaic" look and the fact people use to pay $2.50
an hour to use such garbage.

The apartment the disc was found in was owned by an old lady who never threw
out her mail. She is believed to have died at least 10 years ago from laughing
too hard an episode of Salute Your
Shorts.

"We think it was that one with that red headed kid... What was his name?
Sputnik? No... You know, the kid from the beginning of Terminator 2. Anyway,
he sneaks a salami into camp with hilarious consequences. I've always enjoyed
that one myself," Guzzle told us as we began slowly inching towards the
door.

As far as future plans for the disc, the scientist plan to donate it to a
museum after they're done laughing at it. So far many museums have been
contacted, but none have returned their calls.

Labels: aol, commodore 64, imac, salute your shorts, saved by the bell

¶ 11:01:00 AM 0 Comments

Pending approval, the Republican party will soon merge with AOL Time Warner. AOL Time Warner, the industry giant responsible for such crap as CNN, TBS, Time Magazine, a book series about UFO's, and pioneers of making people pay twenty-five dollars to look at advertisements (aka AOL), has bought out most of the republican party to become the primary (ha ha... primary, get it? It's a pun... just not a very good one.) shareholder and help me create this very long run on sentence. "We here at AOL are very happy to have made this acquisition," an operator told us, after being on hold for two hours, during which we had to listen to that damn "Hey DJ" song twenty times with a couple of "Magic Sticks" thrown in for good will. "My supervisor told me that if I upgraded enough people to AOL for Broadband, they'd make me Governor of New Mexico." According to AOL's website, at least the parts we could read that weren't covered up by AOL's "special offers", they hope to use the republican party to help pass anti-spam laws, so only AOL themselves will be able to jam ads down their customers throats. "It's an exciting day for all of us here at AOL, we are so..." Is what a voice clip of AOL spokesperson Randall was saying before we got disconnected from the service. We'll have more on this, as soon as we manage to get reconnected, or switch to a better service.

Remever when AOL came on a floppy? Ah, those were the days.

Labels: aol, republican

¶ 6:23:00 PM 0 Comments