Tag Archives: republican

The Jokes:

Sensitive police documents were found to be part of the confetti used in the Macy’s parade. The rest of it was made up of No Higher Taxes pledges signed by the GOP.

A number of republicans have now said they are willing to news their No Higher Taxes pact they had signed.  With the world ending in a month you would of thought they could of lasted just a little longer.

Experts say the most likely time to die is at 11am, which is also when the Price is Right comes on. Coincidence?  Yeah, probably, I can’t think of any connection.

15 Year Celebration:

We are almost done with our 15 Year Celebration. I tried to pick my favorite posts to share all month long but there’s just so much of them… and they’re all so terrible. But, the show must go on.

This was originally published on March 4, 2008. Fun fact: This was written after Biden had dropped out of the Democratic primary, but before he was named Obama’s running mate. I had no clue he’d wind up being our vice president for 8 years and thought he would just fade into obscurity making the fact that there would be a Girl Scout badge made in his honor funny. Oh well.


In today’s riveting cheesegod.com expose we reveal the rarest and hardest to get Girl Scout Badges. Every Girl Scout has the cooking badge, the sewing badge, the guilt tripping people into buying over priced cookies badge. But few have earned these badges:

This badge is awarded to those Scouts that use Windows Vista. But unfortunatley those that do don’t want to admit it. Rumor is that even the scouts that had been rewarded this badge have traded it in for an Apple badge or a Linux badge.

In late 2007 presidential hopeful Joe Biden was so desperate for support from someone other than the two people who live in Delaware he decided to court the seldom tapped Girl Scout vote. Unfortunately even the glamor of a new badge for their chest couldn’t persuade a girl scout to vote for him. Of course most girl scouts are not old enough to vote either, silly Joe.

One would think tailoring would be an easy badge to get. But for some reason every time a kid is sent to the Nike factory in South America to learn how to make clothing they never come back. So odd…

Nobody knows how this badge is earned. The only known Girl Scout who was lucky enough to receive this badge was Stacey Littlefoot of Nebraska. The story goes that anytime anyone asks her how she got it she just bursts into tears.

Category: Stupid, Today

Pending approval, the Republican party will soon merge with AOL Time Warner.

AOL Time Warner, the industry giant responsible for such crap as CNN, TBS, Time Magazine, a book series about UFO’s, and pioneers of making people pay twenty-five dollars to look at advertisements (aka AOL), has bought out most of the republican party to become the primary (ha ha… primary, get it? It’s a pun… just not a very good one.) shareholder and help me create this very long run on sentence.

“We here at AOL are very happy to have made this acquisition,” an operator told us, after being on hold for two hours, during which we had to listen to that damn “Hey DJ” song twenty times with a couple of “Magic Sticks” thrown in for good will. “My supervisor told me that if I upgraded enough people to AOL for Broadband, they’d make me Governor of New Mexico.”

According to AOL’s website, at least the parts we could read that weren’t covered up by AOL’s “special offers”, they hope to use the republican party to help pass anti-spam laws, so only AOL themselves will be able to jam ads down their customers throats.

“It’s an exciting day for all of us here at AOL, we are so…” Is what a voice clip of AOL spokesperson Randall was saying before we got disconnected from the service.

We’ll have more on this, as soon as we manage to get reconnected, or switch to a better service.

Remever when AOL came on a floppy? Ah, those were the days.

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