Tag Archives: food

Eat Me.

Eat Me.

Russian scientists have discovered a full grown female mammoth with blood and well preserved muscles. This had led to discussion about the morals of attempting to clone the prehistoric beach. However you feel about it, you probably would agree that there are many potential scientific things that could be done with this find. Something  you probably wouldn’t think of doing is taking a bite out of it. While eating a 4,000 year old piece of meat sounds almost as unappetizing as eating at McDonald’s, it has been done.

When Russian Zoologist Alexei Tikhonov was running some tests on a Mammoth, curiosity got the better of him and he took a bite. He described the meat as being terrible and tasting like meat left in a freezer too long. While that sound pretty awful, considering the mammoth meat is probably a little older than those Steakumms you forgot you had in the back of your freezer, it doesn’t sound that bad.

Mr. Tikonov isn’t alone is the quest to find out what Snuffleupagus tastes like.  In 1979 University of Alaska researcher Dale Guthrie came across a 36,000 year old specimen. He thought out the delicacy a little more though and made it into a stew. He deemed it “acceptable.” While not a glowing review it certainly faired better than Mr. Tikonov’s assessment and certainly better than the Yelp reviews for Amy’s Baking Company.


Category: Today

The worse thing that could happen if you chew too much gum.

You heard the tale when you were a kid. No, not “you were the worse mistake I ever made,” but rather that it would take seven years to digest gum you swallowed. But is it true? Well, no. But it can be rather bad.

The first step of digestion is your saliva. I’m sure you’ve noticed anytime you’ve eaten anything it becomes softer as soon as you start chewing it. That’s because your saliva is already starting to break it down. Imagine how painful it would be to swallow something like a hard pretzel if you didn’t soften it up first. But gum can’t break down like that, other wise you wouldn’t be able to keep chewing it. Of course if you’ve ever tried chewing that piece of gum that came with baseball cards in the 80s you’ve probably still got the scars inside your cheeks from trying to chew that. It’s how the Joker really got those scars, big baseball fan in the 70s. He opened a lot of packs of Upper Deck to try and find that Carl Yasztremski with the big sideburns.

If you accidentally swallow a piece of gum don’t fret too much. Your stomach is good at getting rid of things that don’t belong there (unless you are Rod Stewart at a gay bar full of sailors). Sooner or later your body will push it out. In a lot less than seven years too.

But don’t just start swallowing tons of gum though. If you keep doing it, that’s when you get in trouble.

The razor like gum that came with baseball cards. Perfect if you like your gum blood flavored.

The razor like gum that came with baseball cards. Perfect if you like your gum blood flavored.

A 1988 story from Pediatrics Magazine is full of horror stories of kids that tried to digest too much gum. One involves a four year old who swallowed five plus pieces of gum a day for over two years. He finally wound up in a hospital, where he had to have a “large taffy like substance” surgically removed from his body.

Another story involves a 1 and half year old who also had a gum swallowing habit. To make things more interesting she decided to chase the gum with a couple of coins one day. Gum plus coins resulted in a horrible blockage. The hospital had to use a special “Coin-in-body retrieval system”. I don’t know what that is, but I’d like to picture a giant magnet.

In my opinion if you kid barely has any teeth, they probably shouldn’t be chewing gum. In one case a child would purposely swallow gum and say it was an accident so her parents would giver her another piece.

So, the moral of the story. Don’t things you aren’t suppose too and don’t expect kids to be not be stupid.

Category: Today

Yes folks, it does exist.

Hot dogs, $69 hot dogs… what kind of kids like $69 hot dogs? Rich kids, spoiled kids, even kids with credit cards!

If you had just been to Yankee Stadium, $69 for a hot dog might sound like a bargain. But this overpriced meat stool is not sold in the sport arena of the evil empire but rather in the heart of manhattan. Anyone who has ever visited New York City or watched the pilot of 30 Rock knows there’s a guy every couple of feet on the streets selling the mystery meat wonders for just a buck or two. So why is one Upper East Side resturaunt charge almost $70 for one?

First of all, this hot dog is no cocktail weenie when it comes to length, as it measures a foot long. Of course, just having a couple of extra inches of mechanically separated animal isn’t enough to justify the incredible price tag. For that you need to add duck foie gras, caramelized vidalia onions, heirloom tomato ketchup and of course mustard. The hot dog is grilled white truffle onion and served on a pretzel roll toasted in white truffle butter.

Now that your mouth is watering I’m sure you can’t wait to purchase this hot dog instead of the same priced Zelda: Skyward Sword with remote bundle you were saving for. You can find it at Serendipty 3, a small doll house eatery most known for their frozen hot chocolate.

If after your $69 beef log you are in the mood for dessert, don’t worry, Serendipty also offers an ice cream sundae for $1000, I kid you not.

Category: True But Dumb
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