Tag Archives: barack obama

la_noire_interrogationYou know when you go to McDonald’s and ask them for a McRib and the pimply teenager tell you it’s out of season, but you just don’t believe him. You just know they probably got a couple of those frozen boneless pork product patties back there left over from December. But how can you be sure if he’s lying?

Well, here a couple of tips to tell if that guy is a dirty rotten liar or a dirty rotten truth teller.

 

1) They won’t look you in the eye.

When people lie, they tend to have a hard time looking people in the eye. They say they’ll tend to look up to the left if they’re trying to search their brain for a lie, however looking up the right is suppose to mean they’re trying to remember.

Of course if you got really ugly eyes, they might just not want to look at them. Also if you got a hot body, they might be looking at that instead. So ladies, if some guy is staring at your chest, he might not be lying, but he might be pervert.

On the other hand, liars know this and might stare you in the eyes to try to prove they’re not lying. So, make sure you check for these other signs as well.

2) They’re sweating like a pig

Richard Nixon famously sweated during his debate with John Kennedy causing the American public to not trust him. He lost to JFK, but America voted him in as president eight years later anyway. Then we found out he was organizing break-ins of Democratic offices, he was a racist and secretly meeting with Elvis. The American public should of trusted their first instincts.

"I promise to close Guantanamo Bay, End the spying done by the Bush Administration, end corporate tax loopholes, and become America's Next Top Model"

“I promise to close Guantanamo Bay, End the spying done by the Bush Administration, end corporate tax loopholes, and become America’s Next Top Model”

3) They’re covering their mouth

People tend to touch their face or cover there mouth when they lie, literally trying to cover up the truth.

I sometimes cover mouth when eat too much garlic so whoever I’m talking to doesn’t have to smell my breath. My only lie I’m guilty is that I’m eating healthy.

4) Blinking and Fidgeting

People who lie tend to be uncomfortable. They’ll fidget a lot, blink out a distress code, wet their pants… Well that last one doesn’t really ever happen. But I tell you, if I’m questioning someone and they wet their pants, I’m trusting them a whole lot less. Also, I’m not inviting them over for a sleepover.

Now, these are all decent tips, but you shouldn’t rely on just these to decide if your son in lying that a dinosaur broke the vase and not him. There’s always a chance that the person you are questioning might have Parkinsons, have an itchy lip and a lazy eye and hot.

 


Category: Today

We all knew when a politician named Anthony Weiner accidentally tweeted a lewd picture of himself the late night comedians were going to have fun with it. It’s a guy named Weiner with a picture of his weiner! The story fell from the comedy heavens into the comedians’ laps. However you would think a major respectable newspaper would have more constraint than to resort to stupid puns about it. You would think right. But, of course the NY Post is definitely not respectable.

Here are some of the New York Post’s horrible Anthony Weiner related headlines:

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ny-post-obama-weiner

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postweiner_560

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And as a bonus, here’s one about Osama Bin Laden:

ny-post-front-page-osama-bin-wankin

By the way, the New York Post is owned by News Corporation, the same geniuses behind FOX News, 49% of the Yankee’s Network and about 80,000 other newspapers.

 


Category: Today
You must be this tall to be president.

You must be this tall to be president.

It came out this month that New Jesey governor Chris Christie had weight loss surgery. This could be just for health reasons. But more likely it’s for his public image. Mr. Christie’s name often comes up in talks for the 2016 presidential election, but would the American public be willing to elect someone so round.

After all, Mr. Christie surely doesn’t want to be called an Washington Fat Cat and look like one too.

But would the American voter really vote for someone based on looks? Well, yes. Consider this: From 1916 to 1996 there were 21 elections. In 15 of those the tallest candidate won. In  two of them the candidates were the same height. Only four times out of those 21 times did a shorter candidate win.

The trend may have broken down though. In 2000, Bush was an inch shorter than Gore and lost. Although Gore did get more votes overall, so you can probably count that either way. In 2004 the democrats sent the towering John Kerry to run, and lost. Finally the 6ft 1 Obama beat the 5 ft 9 McCain in 2008.  But then in 2012 the taller Romney lost to Obama.

So has the American public stopped listening to their eyes and started looking with their ears instead? After all, every president before 2008 was white.

That answer is unknown at this point, but Chris Christie is 5 ft 11 inches and Hillary Clinton is just 5 ft 7 inches. Maybe Mr. Christie is betting on history.

 

Election Winner

Height Main opponent

Height Difference
2012 Barack Obama 6 ft 1 in 185 cm Mitt Romney[38] 6 ft 2 in 188 cm 1 in 2½ cm
2008 Barack Obama 6 ft 1 in 185 cm John McCain[39] 5 ft 9 in 175 cm 4 in 10 cm
2004 George W. Bush 5 ft 11 12 in 182 cm John Kerry[16] 6 ft 4 in 193 cm 4½ in 11 cm
2000 George W. Bush 5 ft 11 12 in 182 cm Al Gore*[8][40] 6 ft 1 in 185 cm 1½ in 3 cm
1996 Bill Clinton 6 ft 2 in 188 cm Bob Dole[41] 6 ft 1 12 in 187 cm ½ in 1 cm
1992 Bill Clinton 6 ft 2 in 188 cm George H.W. Bush 6 ft 2 in 188 cm 0 in 0 cm
1988 George H.W. Bush 6 ft 2 in 188 cm Michael Dukakis[42] 5 ft 8 in 173 cm 6 in 15 cm
1984 Ronald Reagan 6 ft 1 in 185 cm Walter Mondale[8] 5 ft 11 in 180 cm 2 in 5 cm
1980 Ronald Reagan 6 ft 1 in 185 cm Jimmy Carter 5 ft 9 12 in 177 cm 3½ in 8 cm
1976 Jimmy Carter 5 ft 9 12 in 177 cm Gerald Ford 6 ft 0 in 183 cm 2½ in 6 cm
1972 Richard Nixon 5 ft 11 12 in 182 cm George McGovern[16][43] 6 ft 1 in 185 cm 1½ in 3 cm
1968 Richard Nixon 5 ft 11 12 in 182 cm Hubert Humphrey[43] 5 ft 11 in 180 cm ½ in 2 cm
1964 Lyndon B. Johnson 6 ft 4 in 193 cm Barry Goldwater[43] 5 ft 11 in 180 cm 5 in 13 cm
1960 John F. Kennedy 6 ft 0 in 183 cm Richard Nixon 5 ft 11 12 in 182 cm ½ in 1 cm
1956 Dwight D. Eisenhower 5 ft 10 12 in 179 cm Adlai Stevenson II[43] 5 ft 10 in 178 cm ½ in 1 cm
1952 Dwight D. Eisenhower 5 ft 10 12 in 179 cm Adlai Stevenson II 5 ft 10 in 178 cm ½ in 1 cm
1948 Harry S. Truman 5 ft 9 in 175 cm Thomas Dewey[42][43] 5 ft 8 in 173 cm 1 in 2 cm
1944 Franklin D. Roosevelt 6 ft 2 in 188 cm Thomas Dewey 5 ft 8 in 173 cm 6 in 15 cm
1940 Franklin D. Roosevelt 6 ft 2 in 188 cm Wendell Willkie[43][44] 6 ft 2 in 188 cm 0 in 0 cm
1936 Franklin D. Roosevelt 6 ft 2 in 188 cm Alfred Landon[43] 5 ft 11 in 180 cm 3 in 8 cm
1932 Franklin D. Roosevelt 6 ft 2 in 188 cm Herbert Hoover 5 ft 11 12 in 182 cm 2½ in 6 cm
1928 Herbert Hoover 5 ft 11 12 in 182 cm Al Smith[43] 5 ft 11 in 180 cm ½ in 2 cm
1924 Calvin Coolidge 5 ft 10 in 178 cm John W. Davis[43] 5 ft 11 in 180 cm 1 in 2 cm
1920 Warren G. Harding 6 ft 0 in 183 cm James M. Cox[45] 5 ft 6 in 168 cm 6 in 15 cm
1916 Woodrow Wilson 5 ft 11 in 180 cm Charles Evans Hughes[43] 5 ft 10 in 178 cm 1 in 2 cm

Category: Today

Today is 12/3/12, there are 21 shopping days left until Christmas, 28 days left until 2013, and 18 days until we all die according to the Mayans. Here’s what’s going on today:

The Jokes:

Mitt Romney recently paid a visit to Disney World. He headed to fantasy land to pretend he was still relevant then got kicked out of the Hall of Presidents when he tried to debate the animatronic President Obama. On the plus size, Romney was the able to afford the large soda at the refreshments stand. 

The so called Fiscal Cliff is getting closer by the moment. I always thought the Fiscal Cliff was when that mailman on Cheers refused to buy his buddy Norm a beer.

Minnesota is letting people buy lottery tickets from gas pumps now. It’s hard to say whether it’s the gas or the lottery tickets are the bigger ripoff.

Missing Food:

American’s are still in mourning after the loss of Twinkies last month. But that’s the only snack we’ve lost over the years. Here are just a few more:

Jolt Cola 

Sure, you might think you still see Jolt Cola in the fridge at the local bodega, but that’s not the original real “x2 the caffeine” soda we used to know.

There was a time when Jolt Cola came in plastic bottles just like PepsiCola and CocaCola. Unlike the latter two though Jolt boasted it’s extra energy by claiming it had all the sugar and extra caffeine. Before a world of Monster Energy Drinks, Red Bull and 5 hour energy Jolt Cola was the favorite of self sleep deprived teenagers and computer nerd (it was even featured in the movie Hackers).

Jolt never had the success has pretty much any other cola on the market, but it had it’s loyal following. But that wasn’t enough for the people running the soda. When energy drink began becoming popular, Jolt tried to follow the trend. They redid their formula, sold the drink in bottles that looked like batteries and tripled the price. It didn’t work and the company folded.

The Jolt Cola you see on the market occasionally now is actually made by a completely different company who just purchased the name.

Surge Cola 

In the late 90s another soda claiming extra energy hit the market. Unlike Jolt however, it had the huge marketing power of creator CocaCola behind it. Also unlike Jolt, rather than a cola, Surge was a citrus flavored drink.

Even though I never appreciated Surge as much as Jolt it had the advantage of being on store shelves everywhere Coke was sold, which is pretty much just everywhere.

The drink only lasted a couple of years until CocaCola phased it out. However a few years later Coke introduced something called Vault, which claimed to have the power of an energy drink with the taste of a soda. Actually, it seemed to have the taste of Surge. Coke, like Jolt, must of thought there was opportunity to get in on the energy drink market and since they already had the recipe hanging around, they thought they could turn their past failures into gold. But they thought wrong, since Vault is now too defunct.

 Reese’s Bites

At some point in the late 90s candy companies decided everything had to be bite sized. M&M/Mars introduced their Pop’em line, where they took practically every candy bar they sold, broke them into bite sized pieces and stuck it in a resealable bag. Hershey did the same thing with their candies and called them Bites.

On the whole it was pretty unremarkable. Sure it was nice if you like scooping your candy into your mouth instead of biting pieces off it in bar form. I suppose that’s nice, but I don’t find myself to often eating something and wishing it was smaller and in little pieces.

Reese’s Bites was the exception however. The candy was little balls of chocolate with peanut butter inside. I enjoyed popping a few in my mouth at a time and then washing it down with a glass of milk. It was candy perfection. But like everything nice in this world, it ended. Hershey discontinued their Bites line, just as M&M/Mars would end their Pop’ems candies.

The world just wasn’t ready for tiny candy… until now.

Hershey’s has introduced their Mini’s line, included Reese’s Minis. Rather than being served as little balls they are now little versions of the shape of regular Reese’s Peanut butter cups. They’re not exactly the same but close enough.

 Bananas

I know this one is just confusing. You think Bananas still exist. Well, you are only kind of right. The kind of banana Americans used to enjoy was known as Gros Michel or ‘Big Mike’.  It was actually pretty much wiped out of the United States during the 50s due to disease.

Now we eat a less tasty banana known as the Cavendish and some people theorize that

disease may wipe out even this banana in the next 10 to 20 years.

All is not lost, as the Big Mike banana is still grown in some Middle American countries. Perhaps one day we will see it’s return.

 

Real Twinkies

You can a clock with it! The only think any of us ever got with a box of Twinkies was diabetes.

Speaking of bananas, while everyone in the country is overreacting to the loss of Twinkies this week, they are not even grieving over the loss of the real Twinkie.

When the Twinkie was first introduced in 1930 it was filled with banana not vanilla cream.  However during World War II bananas were rationed causing the need to switch over to vanilla. I’m not sure why bananas were in short supply, were we sending them to the troops? Using them to build aircraft carriers? Using them to fuel atomic bombs?

In 2005 Hostess temporally brought back the banana filled variant as a tie in with the newly released King Kong film. It became popular and by 2007 it was being produced permanently. Or least was until last month.

Any other food you miss?


Category: Today

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