10/22/12 – The Final Debate

The Jokes:

The US Space Shuttle Endeavor made its way to Los Angeles this past week.  I’m not sure if immigrated Mexicans was what they had in mind when they hoped it would one day encounter alien life.

Yankee fans are upset that Derek Jeter fractured his ankle. Big deal. Us Mets fans get our dreams fractured every year.

A Bumblebee Tuna employee died after being cooked in an oven. Remember the good ol’ days when all we had to worry was about getting dolphins in our tuna?

Tonight’s Debate:

Tonight will be the third, and final, presidential debate. That being so, this will be the last chance for the two to go head to head on some of the important issues. Here’s what I’m hoping to find out:

Boxers or briefs?

This election cycle has been continuing for what, about five years? But we still haven’t had our boxer or briefs moment. You know, when someone has the opportunity to ask the most important person in the world anything, and they ask something completely pointless.

Pizza Hut wanted someone to ask sausage or pepper at the town hall style debate, but the problem is that the answer to what kind of pizza you would like would be “something not from Pizza Hut.”

So what can tonight’s moderator ask? How about:

Do you remember pogs?

They will probably say no… but they’d be lying. We all had pogs in the 90s, but are ashamed to admit it. Lets just see if they are man enough to come forward and tell the truth.

Who did they side with in the fight between Snooki and J-Wow?

This is what we call in the business, “A loaded question.” If they can answer this question, no matter what the answer is, it proves they are not only unfit to be president, but unfit to be a member of the human race.

If you were an animal, what kind would you be? Explain… in excruciating detail.

If college applicants have to answer stupid essay question like this, why not the presidential applicants? Anyone who says “a Liger” gets a thousa

nd extra election points.

Why the hell didn’t you answer my question?

I’m sure we’ve all noticed candidates rarely answer the question they are asked. They have their prepared remarks and will work it in, question be damned. Just once, after receiving an answer about unemployment after asking a question about a woman’s right to choose, I’d love to see a moderator say, “That’s lovely, now answer the f***ing question!”

 Watch This:
The masters of auto tuning the news has done all three debates so far. This one of the VP debate is currently my favorite:

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