Forget the McRib, what about the McPizza?

I know what your thinking. How can something looking this appetizing not sell well?

The internet was alive with the sound of pork product being pressed into the shape of ribs this past month as McDonald’s announced the triumphant return of the McRib for a limited time. There’s a lot that can be said about the McRib, like how it contains over 70 ingredients or how it became popular thanks to The Flinstones, but what about all the other past McDonald’s products that have passed? Don’t they deserve a chance to return? Here’s a look at couple of products that could be next to start lines to rival those of the next iThing.

1) The Hulaburger

If Ray Kroc, the man responsible for turning a small burger joint owned by two brothers in California into the leading cause of obesity amongst poor people, had his way the Hulaburger would be on every McDonald’s menu across the country and the Filet-O-Fish would never have crawled up from the sea.

In the 60s Ray Kroc was making millions, but that wasn’t enough. Catholics didn’t eat meat on Fridays and would have to visit other cruddy restaurants like Long John Silvers or even stay at home and eat something healthy.  The solution? Kroc wanted to grill a slice of pineapple and put in on a bun.  He called it the Hulaburger.  Lucky for McDonald’s corporation/Ray Kroc/People with taste buds local franchise owner Lou Groen realized this was a horrible idea and recommended the Filet-O-Fish instead.

Kroc challenged Groen to a contest to see wich item would sell the most. Obviously the Fish won and the Hulaburger went extinct.

2) Arch Deluxe

It’s funny how despite being number one in their field, companies still tend to panic and make drastic changes. Like how Coke completely changed their formular in the 80s after being scared enough by Pepsi’s taste tests despite being number one in the cola market for about a hundred years straight. Or, how Netflix decided to jack their prices up 60% than split their business into two confusing and enraging all their customers to a point where they lost massive amounts of subscriptions. Luckily McDonald’s brash decisions was nothing quite as destructive, although it did cost them 300 million dollars in wasted advertising and research money.

In the mid 90s McDonald’s felt it was getting pigeon holed as a place for kids. Their mascot was a clown and their best known product was the Happy Meal. Fearing losing out on Adult customers, the ones who have the money, they introduced the Arch Deluxe. The Arch Deluxe had spices and a sauce made of mayonaise and ketchup… you know, the things adults love.

But the biggest factor in the Arch Deluxe’s demise may have been the marketing. The advertisements featured kids professing how much they hated the sandwich, even calling it “yucky”. As I’m sure you know the best way to advertise anything is to have people talk about how they don’t like it. And even better, have the demographic that you believe is the biggest part of your customer base bash it.

Don’t feel to bad about McDonald’s losing the 300 million though. I’m sure they just sold another billion burgers and made up for it.

3) McPizza

Now that both 7-Eleven and Subway is selling Pizza it is not surprising that the world’s largest fast food restaurant also tried to do so.

The McPizza was sold at apparently 500 locations before  they gave up. But if you really want to try a slice there is still one location in Orlando, Florida that sells this abomination. So next time you are in Orlando forget Disney or Universal and make sure you check out this real attraction.

4) Everything else

There have been a ton of other failed/discontinued McDonald products ranging from hot dogs to Michael Jordon burgers to the McSoup. Who knows they will fail with next? Only time can tell. I’m hoping for the McFried Twinkie myself.

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