Obama Pushes Job’s Plan

"One more thing... I also got this heath care plan that could stop pancreatic cancer"

In an attempt to feed on the outpouring love and respect for Steve Jobs since his death, President Obama has decided to start pushing the Job’s plan.

The 450 billion dollar plan was conceived by Steve Jobs sometime before his passing. It was found on his personal iPad in a secret folder named “Personal”. The folder contained numerous pictures of $175 turtlenecks, an application to go on one of those “You Are Not The Father” Maurey shows, the design for the iPhone 4S2, a self portrait of Mr. Jobs riding a missile into the Google campus using SketchBook Pro and finally the Pages document labeled “Job’s plan.”

“The plan would create numerous jobs by building additional Apple Stores across the country,” Obama told a number of over excited tech journalists at his Keynote presentation, “This would create construction jobs to build the stores, jobs for Geniuses to work the genius bar, jobs for window cleaners to clean all that damn glass and most importantly give hipsters a place to go to keep them off our streets.”

In all the Job’s plan is estimated to create about 2 million jobs, although about half would be in China to make the new iPad 2S.

“It’s okay that those jobs will wind up in China,” Obama told the Keynote crowd while occasionally holding up an iPhone to get cheap applause, “Eventually Apple’s poor working conditions will lead to all their workers will commit suicide and we won’t have to worry about China as a global competitor anymore.”

The plan would be paid for with a 100% tax on billionaires that founded Microsoft and an additional sales tax on all phones that promote robots that look like men.

At this point it is uncertain if the Job’s plan could pass congress. While the number of elected officials with iPhones outnumber those with Blackberries and Android based phones, they do not make up the super majority.

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