I get a lot of emails, with a lot of questions. The most asked question unfortunately has to be, “Wouldn’t you like to impress your girlfriend?” But the second most question without a doubt is, “Cheesegod, is civilization declining or inclining? Please show your work.” Well, how can I ignore my adoring fans’ questions? So here is my answer… to the second question… I’ll try that “enhancement” drug later.

Friends, civilization is on the decline. The proof is all around us. Want a specific one? How about the theme song for the New York Mets?

In 1962 the Mets played their first game and introduced their first theme song. Meet the Mets is a nice little ditty imploring fans to watch the new team in NY, featuring such words as “Meet the Mets, Meet the Mets, come to the park and greet the Mets.”

In 1986 the Mets were on their way to a World Series victory, and they needed a song to go along with it. Lets Go Mets Go was a song that featured such cleverly written lyrics as “Where there’s a Mets Man, you’ll find a Mets Fan,” and choruses of “Do it” and of course the nonsensical “Lets Go Mets Go” chant… the extra Go is there for extra support I suppose.

Now, 20 years later, the Mets are well on their way to another playoff appearance, and I suppose they felt they needed another theme song to reflect on these times. So the Hip Hop tune “Our Team, Our Time.” This song features lyrics that state such ingenious observations like, “We score the runs, runs. We get the hits, hits.”

And here is your lovely audio clip, for you to enjoy. You can hear the world getting dumber as the song progresses. Press the play button to start the audio clip.