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NEW UVF TO REPLACE DVDS

Technicians and leaders of the entertainment industry were excited to announce a new video format coming soon to a TV near you.

"America is tired of those old clunky DVDs," said Roy Sharkey, some guy who's name we'll pretend means something to you but really doesn't. "America wants smaller, better, and more expensive."

New the format called UVF (Unnecessary Video Format) will not be on discs, but rather one inch chips that can hold up to 4 hours of video.

The video will be better quality than the current DVD format. But the difference is so small it can't be seen by the naked eye.

"Even if you can't tell the quality is better, you'll know it's there and that'll be all that matters," Sharkey said, trying to sound excited. Ultimately ending up sounding geeky instead.

The new format is expected to hit shelves in time for Christmas at the retail price of $35 per title. All the major film companies have pledged to support the format except Lucasfilm. George Lucas says he will not release any of the original Star Wars films on UVF format until they've been released on DVD. And he won't release the films on DVD until Episode 3 comes out. And he won't release Episode 3 until he can think of a way for Darth Vader and Jar Jar to have a dance number in the film.


The latest releases on UVF
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